De Manifestos of Mademoise||e Ronnikins

over here

2006-10-19T14:25:00.000+08:00

Another breathing space and comfort.

Over here:
http://www.xanga.com/greenieelfinz

awakenings

2006-10-13T16:10:00.000+08:00

Awakening thoughts by me...

Many days i passed,
Without realising the true nature of Life,
of the very air that i am taking in.
The bright yellow rays of sunlight on my hands;
The bus i often takes to school.
My eyes were glazed.
I am slowly awakened,
To the very things that i have been missing.
So they were.
Let Hope enters the lungs that exhales life,
Let my heart open to the very beat.
Just like a new borned infant today,
Let me be awakened.

Thwarted Obession

To others: quirky obession; illogical thoughts; insubstantial reasonings; wild thinking i let loose and out of control.
At that time, it only seemed all to real to me.

Aye so, it was an unfounded but realised obession.

Tingling fear, bouts of anxieties that attack me again and again.

Worries that seem not to go away. And the cloud that seems grey and not absolving.

These days, i do wonder when will my eyes be made to see the blue skies on top of my head.

I am not so forlorn.

I refused to give up.

Being awakened by some stuff that was tugged neatly behind my mind, i knew it's time i do something about it.

It is heart wrenching to cry everytime when some words manage to move a piece of that inside me.
Do i love myself?

Do i blame him for all the years when he was not around?

Yes to both.

It was to me, like a new sunrise i finally saw. I began to see gradually what i have missing and failed to cherish all these while: my present.

It was a new sun that i saw when i was awakened with that new relevation.

Even i was awed by the courage i muster to fight all that was plaguing me all these while.

I guess i just do not want to be stuck in this cloud for too long.

I want to feel you, the present, the air of it. It is assuaged by and by with Time that we can never catch up but only fall in place with. I just want to be in tune with it.

Therefore, on this very day, i took out my courage and confront it: myself. I had no idea that because of the lack of paternal support all these years when i was growing up could wrought so much damage to the way i view love, to the way i view myself, and therefore, cast doubts to the way i am gona view the other half whom i am going to spend the rest of my life with.

I began to understood why i fought so hard to sustain that little piece of fairytale that churns inside my head ever since i was young. That is to find Mr Right, and to live happily ever after.

I know i am no snow white, or cinderella.

But when i found you, i am really happy. Because we both have the same dream.

But it did not occur to me till now why i was forever entrenched in my little world of insecurities and doubts. Generalising you into the broad category that you will leave me one day. I did not know till now.

Till now it was all because of a childhood dream being shattered in pieces. Of a perfect role model who was torned asunder into my very eyes on a dark night where the skies were raining.

I did not know the memory was so great and painful that i still cry to this very day, even as i am typing these lines. I did not know the hurt was so great, so profound, so deeply embedded inside me that i reenacted the exact turbulence through my anxiety with my hair.

I did not know that a paternal love could be so great.

So it all turn full circle. It was the same old thing again.

And all along i thought i fully got over that fact and accepted it, and truly move on. I do not know when i can say for sure that i can shake out 100% from that hurt that was put to daylight once again.

But i know i will.

No matter how hard it might seem, i know that i will wake up one day and say i am really happy.

Because, being happy is simple in essence.

I am not going to live in the past but to breathe in the present.

Maybe right now i can only see a single step, i am going to take it despite not seeing that full staircase.

If people who are battling terminal stage illnesses and know that they are going to die perhaps the next day, they can still smile and grin, why can't i?

The smiles are not plastered.

But it is a matter of cherishing the present. We do not know how many days we can live in this world anyway.. so what forth go pursue the past and neglect the wonderful present?

I might be encouraging myself, but i will remember that optimism is the foundation of courage- wise words from a wise man.

I will confront it one day.

i will tell my dad how much i love him, and how much i blamed him for all those years when he was not around when i needed his security. But at the end of the day, i will still give him the hug and hold his fleshy hands just like i did, when i was a kid and he piggy-back me in the zoo.

I know i will muster that enough courage soon.

I know that i will muster that faith in love again, and tell you that i love you really because you will be that role model for my future kids, a dream that i will cry in sheer happiness that it finally come true.

I know this might be a tough phase i am going through but i know with you guys around, and the three angels you gave me, i will stand on my own again.

Thank you so much... =)

run

2006-10-10T21:52:00.000+08:00

I need to run!!

Some happenings

2006-10-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

Some happenings

I guess situated somewhere in the Unbearable Lightness of Being (a nice book by the way), the author talks about fate. And the beauty of coincidences.

So there i was, with Brenda (girl, somehow i think brenda lee sounds nicer.. hm.. or siew rong?? grins..) at clementi platform, musing about crushes and love and yup... the beauty of coincidences. Which kinda makes me think back of how me and my Mr. met... (still remember?? hehe...)

Coincidences are pretty sweet things. They create this little lopsided smile at the edges of your lips, make you savour that very moment as you reflect back of the "similarities" that you and a certain person you are fond of, have.

So... I was telling B.L that hey, i might just change my nick to Investigator Missy Aw. And goody, she helped me to think of a potential occupation after i graduated! Guess what? Stashing aside my dreams of being the next superstar of Singapura, i could be some staff os SDU... or a wedding planner! Sounds pretty cool eh... hahaha.. of cos lah.

Think again, it is always nice to see people finding their right ones and live happily ever after.

If only Reality does not bites so much... we can all live in the fairy tales we spun for ourselves.

Today, i finally saw /

Bearing one another's burden

2006-09-27T16:59:00.001+08:00

"Bearing one another's burden..."

"Bearing one another's burden helps make the burden bearable".

In the morning, i flipped through the small "daily bread" book that a friend passed to me.
You can say that it is the first time in my life whereby i actually took it out to read.

Today's lesson was "Fearing the worst".

It was about this girl who was diagnosed with cancer and is going through a process of chemotherapy. And her biggest fear was losing her hair. She reckoned it was indeed a vain thought but that she rationalised by thinking it is ok to grieve about a "woman's glory".

Her loss that she was grieving was not her hair, but her identity. She is afraid that once she lose it, she will lose herself as well. Therefore she feared the worst.

However, the "worst never happened".

She had her hair cut short, whereby it did caused a little anxiety, but there were no nightmares as she thought. And then it fell out. She felt some sadness, but not despondency.

Some weeks later, a good pal of hers called and grieved over the phone, saying that she truly emphatise the loss of her hair.

And that was when the person realised that her dear friend was actually fulfilling "Bear one another's burden". By "coming alongside her with prayers and empathy", her friend shared her burden. And for her, her fears for the worst never did come through because she had the love and support of her fellow dear friends.

So whenever you ever visualise that the worst might happened, "the worst will never happened", for what you have at hand are the support and love to tide you through.

And that is the daily bread of Today.

>_<>

And now.. alittle stuff about hugging...

"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.

Hugging is all natural: it is organic, naturally sweet, it has no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, and is 100% wholesome.

Hugging is practically perfect: there are no movable parts, no batteries to replace, no periodic check-ups, has low energy consumption, high energy yield, is inflation-proof, non-fattening, has no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, is theft-proof, non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable."

-- Sharon Lindsey

"Hugs are not only nice they are needed... Hugs can relieve pain and depression.. make the healthier happier, and the most secure even more so.. Hugging feels good and overcomes fear... It provides stretching exercise to short people and stooping exercise to tall people... Hugging does not upset the environment.. It saves heat and energy... requires no special equipment.. Hugging makes happy days happier and impossible days possible. "

--Author Unknown

Therefore give a little hug each day....

credits: www.gagirl.com/hugs/hug.html

(Ps: I am seeing the meaning in the "bread" i read these 2 days... kinda "weird" for the fears does relate a bit to what i was feeling the last 1 week..Grins.. )

(Had a talk with my mum yesterday and was really surprised at how much she could lift me up and alleviate the worries and stress that had been surrounding me. I guess, perhaps no one can actually understand you best other than the person who have live under the same roof with you for the 21 years. It is a bit bizarre that although we might have drifted as i stepped into adulthood, at the end of the day, our hearts still could communicate in that kinda mother-daughter-fuzzy-sorta-way..

I love you mum. =)

No Terror

2006-09-26T19:21:00.000+08:00

No Terror

When everything seemed bleakest, remember,
"My times are in Your hands".
That is when you can exhange the fear of terror for peace and praise.

Learning to live with fear is just like learning to live with having a disability since the moment you might be born with.

Since when was it ever highly possible that a single man with only human powers, could claim that i fear no one, heaven or earth?

I might be learning something all over again. Or i might have forgotten how it was like to smile, in the expanse of just one week.

I am learning to climb, to hop, or if it takes me with a day's weariness, to limp. I will get in tune with all the daily forces of everyday life.

I am seeing the meaning, in the simplest, again.

2006-09-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

And the hunger of loving is so acute that it becomes larger and more real than hunger. It turns itself inside out, and -- flayed and tender side outermost -- it whispers: I am not hunger. I am something deeper. I am what reality is made of.
-by Dale of mole, August 31, 2006 in Short Shorts. http://ahappening.typepad.com/qarrtsiluni/short_shorts/index.html

Short-lived Moments

Why do we cry at short lived moments sometimes?
Do we shed our tears because such moments are beautiful?
Or do we let our tears fall because such moments are short-lived?
And we continue to cry and smile because such moments are beautiful,
And out of our grasp.
We cry because the moment itself is beautiful.
Such moments were etched in our minds for many years to come.
That moment of beauty,
Seems just like a white dragonfly parading near the skies,
Serenading the misty air.
Or it might seems like a bottle of magical blue liquid,
That lids up in a theatre of lights dimmed.
It is beautiful.
But as symbolic as such moments represents,
The dragonfly passed away some time.
The magical blue hue fades to a dirty green.
The moments fail.
We cry for those were short-lived.
We can never hang onto them for longer than we oft want to.
The more short-lived the lifespan,
The more beautiful.
And the more painful to try holding on to.

arts

2006-09-12T13:11:00.000+08:00

Arty-Farty Influx and What is wrong with Singlish Identity?

Due to the Arts Biennale in Singapore, we have recently witness some weird phenonmenons.

For the very stark example, we have trees suffering from some weird diseases whereby the bottom half of their bodies are infested with red and white podko dots. The sight is certainly eye-catching. And you may wonder even something that is to be a product of the free agent (yes i meant arts), is subjected to the national iconic colour of white and red. (I thought the designer who clothe the trees was a japanese?)

Besides the red and white trees dotting around Orchard Road... we also have a tree that rains.

So on last Friday, i orchestrated my date with dear at somewhere near the Asian Civilisation Museum. We couldn't find that particular tree and were doing secondary guesswork through surveying the grounds for puddles of water... when... We found all the trees starting to rain.

(-____-")

We sought shelter inside the ASM, just like the rest of the other forlorn couples, fervently snapping pictures in order to wait for that almost impasse situation.

Finally, as the creator of the "raining tree" that symbolises the miraclous in life (whereby one don't question why, but simply indulge in the beauty of things), i found it an unfruitful expedition to seek out The One. So we decided to just let The One Raining Tree go and seek some other places.

We strolled past the Parliament House and the old one... And dear was commenting on how silly whereby it just shifted one mini-road down. The old P.H is more interesting because you would be able to see some ingenious quotes strewning all over the buildings in the forms of banners... almost like a more civilised form of graphic arts.

i love this line.

"White stands for miracle. And why not black?" Hm... another relevation for the choice of attire of the men in whites. They are epitomised to be miracles in Singapore? So white is now the new black. Because if you are observant enough, you will notice that even Creative is coming up with the "white designs". Thus, White is the new Chic Black.

Doing some hours rewind of Friday, i saw this bus with a slogan that says, "Why you early early don't say?"
"Should be: You should have say so earlier."

A wild attempt to promote better English in Singapore. So in the packed bus 96 twds Clementi, i was thinking what the heck is wrong with Singlish. Considering the fact that English is still our national language and that at least 60% of the Singaporeans has at least an O level qualification. So if we are able to rectify the so-called error of our Singa language and translate that into "proper" English, why should we curtail the speech of Singlish?

We are not retarts, are we?

Or unless some people of the higher order than us believe that habits die hard and that should we speak more Singa language, we might gradually lose the ability to speak the "normal" english. You think we will lose that ability?

Singlish is a heartwarming language that not only symbolise that We are, part of the same culture, it also helps us to identify each and everyone of us at the same platform. (Provided you know the stuff correctly that "Mee siam" is usually "hiam" and no "hums" will be added to it.)

I also believe that languages are wonderful and ingenious Sign languages created by humans to bridge verbal and written communication. Since the main function is to make it legible and understood, why should we even construct a hierarchy of languages? I guess you might have a good idea which language is ranked number 1 in Singapore.

Local or Foreign?

2006-09-07T16:36:00.000+08:00

In sept 7th issue of Straits Times, we have 1 and a half page dedicated to the speech given by our MM during the 45th Anniversary Lecture of NTUC.

Usually when I managed to wake myself early for a cup of tea and the newspapers, I would have read them with a “lazy eye”. But as of today, the Lipton must have worked its wonders. Or alternatively, it could have been the aftermath of yesterday’s sociology of mass media tutorial. I made up my mind to be critical about the column I saw.

For the very basics, let’s look at where Straits Times belongs to. SPH. Of course you will not think that someone of the higher order might be controlling the placement/positioning of certain news, would they?

Subtle and unconscious propaganda might be more effective. And who says all propaganda are necessary bad? We have the meritorious propaganda, such as this one which I am going to talk about.

So this not-so-little piece of news with regards to Foreign Talent is placed on H4 of Home. And one might like to question why that is not positioned on the front page of Straits Times.

If your curiosity is killing you, take a look at the front news of 7th Sept. Yes, it’s still talking about the same person who says that leaders and workers should tighten their bonds in times of Globalisation.

So you see, it is actually all the same thing. The simpleton might be fast to conclude that globalization = foreign talent, will not they? And who are the “simpletons” who might be reading the news on ST every day?

Thus, to situate this little piece of tough news that the government is perhaps going to introduce more foreign talent for the 3 big “pools”:

1) Creation of new enterprises (eg. Neptune Orient Lines)
2) Skilled professional jobs to attract foreign investments
3) 3D jobs (dirty, dangerous and I forgot the last D.)

We place this news in “Home”. Somewhere we belong, and thus, less likely to feel resentment about.

And thus, given the fact that we have been indoctrinated with Confucian teachings to have good “habits, social manners and a sense of right and wrong”, we should not be xenophobic too.

Therefore, with the subtext that “country is (indeed) better off with wider pool; Govt will look after those facing difficulties”, we as the children should heave a sigh of relief as we are simply, being “take(n) care” of.

Or should we worry because we are too used to being spoon fed and always snuck neatly in our nest?

With his good hindsight and foresight, he mentioned that at the macro level (you wonder what this “macro level” encapsulate and mean) is “doing better” holistically. By implication, certain arenas of the micro level will not be doing well. And that means, the Individuals who might be affected due to a matter of luck, or downsizing of companies. But it is ok, as we will be “take(n) care of”, remember that. Macro is more important because based on a particular country’s dependence on exports rather than imports, the economy are more important than trivial micro woes.

So casting our slight anxieties aside, what else does he have to offer to alleviate our worry?

He noted that the “well-educated actually has a choice to make a better living overseas”. So that means, since we understand our world by antithesis, which would imply that the less- educated would make a poorer living locally.

And that is right.

Thus, the role of the government would be to ensure that these less better-off people would at least, make a “decent living” in Singapore.

And what does “decent meaning” means? Would say $6 a day constitutes a “decent living” since they would perhaps be translated to 3 packs of chicken rice per day.

To further reduce our sense of xenophobia, some statistics were shown. 63,500 out of the 113,300 jobs went to locals. Seems quite a lot right?

Now, take out your calculator.

We have 56.046% of that jobs filled by local Singaporeans.

We only took about half of those jobs.

Does that statistical piece of evidence serve a calming effect?

And the next question might be, can that percentage improve further whereby more jobs might be made available?

The next few paragraphs only mentioned the fact “we need them (foreign talents) here”. A good collective pronoun used- “we”.
As the news say, “only with foreign talent can Singapore progress”.

And then, placed not from that chunk of news was a little bit of irony.

“Where are the Singapore construction workers?”

It could be an upward mobilization of jobs that lesser Singaporeans might be keen to take up this “3D” job. Considering the cases whereby foreign workers fall to their death at construction sites.

Or just simply, it is more economical profitable to have foreign workers completing a construction project at a faster pace, at a lower rate.

To add further contradictions, this is what he says at the end of that short column, “Because the more we can do it ourselves, the better it is.”

And then, the next continuation was this by MM again.

“Plenty of job opportunities abroad for Singaporeans”.

So do we, as a collective pronoun and majority “do it ourselves” because it is “better”?
Or do we go abroad and by implication, creates more space for the foreign influx of talents?

Never mind this confusion. It is mind-boggling to understand which stand he might take, or which words of his we might take to heart.

Where ever we might be, here or there, we need to study hard. That is when we have the “best qualities” that would be relevant “to the world”.

So most lines indicate we should not focus our attention here?

(Wait, then what about creating a home and more Singlish kids?)

And some reactions by the leaders of the “heartlanders” (hey why was not you, or you, interviewed?):

According to Ms K Thanaletchmi, president of the NUH Employees Unions, MM “gave very good advice…just use your brains and hands”.

Hmmm… (Should I use my right or left first? Pretty idiot-proof?)

An assistant secretary-general of the Singapore Manual and Mercentile Workers’ Union says, “ …Singaporeans don’t want to take their work”.

I smell some big generalization there…

A student of Temasek JC commented, “With a good education, we can go overseas and be more confident”.

Confidence is bred from being overbroad? Then I must suffering from an extremely low self-esteem as I have never been studying or working over broad.

A general treasurer of the United Workers of Electronic and Electrical industries ended off with, “People overseas criticize our unions, but we reason it out to them that our system works in this small place”.

What happens if Singapore becomes big then? Will it work then?
(And what’s “wrong” with the unions that overseas people criticized? Let’s just say that the Prime Minister’s office is interlinked with the Trade Union Congress here. Other countries do have segregation, but we do not.)

But it is okay, as we are a small red dot and this system “works in this small place”.

(*credits pictures: Talkingcock.com)

Health

2006-09-04T16:51:00.000+08:00

Pretty Healthy.

Its has been shown somewhere that recently, wealth is not the number 1 thing which people will rank on their list.

Health is.

And it has long been understood that no matter how rich you may be, you are never the happiest person on Earth if you are constantly battling for survival. Or perhaps, just fighting to not belong on the brink of death.

Recent influenza has gotten many around me sick and restless for last week. A good friend of mine just told me she landed in Nuh with rashes and vomiting. A benign scare of a small insiduious lump made hands cold with fright. Cos i tot what the heck, breast cancer when i am only 21?! And the mildest one it seems now, is perhaps just a wisdom tooth extraction.

I tried asking God on many accounts to make all the people around me in good health. Cos that is like the most precious gift right now.

My dad removed the big lump on his back 2 weeks ago, and apparently the wound seems to have swelled despite the stitches. My mum was worried and frowned practically the whole day. I tried to remained analytical and calm by observing intently on my Dad's lump. My hands were cold again.

Please make all the people around me well again.

Flu virus

2006-08-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

Deadly Flu Virus

So.. this flu virus has gotten so many people and friends around me wringing in morose agony.

Red throats and sore, running and stuffy noses, headache, slight fever..

Do drink loads of herbal tea!

*sniffs.

Love is...

2006-08-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

Ask Socrates what L.O.V.E means...

"hmm..so maybe love is juz a chance meeting, a staging of coincidence...hmm...i dunno man, how do u know u love someone, or miss someone, do u really miss the person cos u r so weak willed and emotional dependent or otherwise damn, love is so abstract so much for trying to pinpt love, a futile effort"
~Extracted exactly word for word in an Msn dialogue, from a dear friend.

Using the extracted piece and giving credit to my that particular friend.. i set about my task to defining what this stuff is.

So this stuff is called Love.

Sue me if you think i am wrong. It could be....Cos' love might not be make of all matter and mass, and it is solely just something intangible, hanging in the air.

So with that question of what love is, i answered without a thought and a cheeky smirk, "Love is a question that people always like to ask".

And then, so why is Love such an interesting concept and yet, a "theory" that is so ill-defined and not within our level of comprehension?

Maybe we are idiots or what?

Cos' Love then, is just not within our reasoning powress. The allure of Love and the curiousity that often kills the pussies out there... got to do techically and socially, with the Romantisization of Love in our modern century.

MCYS, our local home product is a fervent supporter of family building. According to this year's rally speech by PM Lee H.L, Singapore needs 50,000 babies to just merely replace the population every year. And guess what, the Singapore Females are producing only 36,000 babies per year. So a side joke made by him was that, he alone ain't no superman for he couldn't possibly produce the remaining 14,000 babies.

Nice one. So MCYS in order to promote pro-natalistic policies, must first conjure a happy image of happy home: 2 adults( 1 male, 1 female, preferably of cos, Heterosexuals), 2 children (1 boy, 1 girl). This is in accordance to the calculated stats that women in Sg need to produce 2.1 babies in order to just, replace the population. (*funny number, isn't it?)

Before the image of a happy home, Romanticization of cos', comes 1st. That is why NUS and NTU grads are automatically members of the SDU (Social Development Unit). So, no fear... everyone will be up for grabs!

Casting my boring stale concepts aside, let's talk more abt the illogical stuff.

So what is Love?

Love might be a chanced encounter. Yes, it has to be. As luck could have it, a boy and a girl meets. Would they be "right" for each other then will depend on the Timing and place. You cannot have a plot whereby Romeo meets Juliet but the former is from Mars, and the latter is from Venus.. can you? >_<

If you believe in Life is there for a purpose, or that the reverse as equally true (we live for a purpose), then falling in love is a "staged coincidence" by our Creator. Because according to unchanging historical lines, Adam can only meet Eve, not some Elise or whoever.

But then, say you don't buy into this little fable of the only right one for you... Then the pragmatic belief goes down equally well down your throat..

(*So this is my pea-brained take on what Love is.)

We meet many right persons throughout our lives.
But the person who can make the only one seems the most correct lies in our very own hands. Time, the great big manufacturer of all things great and noble, is also under our considerations. And so, i used to ponder late at nights the exact same questions.
Questions that often leave me with no straight answers.
And so when do we know that it is Love?
I guess nobody can throw that one dart on the board and say,
It is you.
Although singers sings it,
Althought lyricist writes it,
No one can ever have that crystal-clear image of that someone whom they thought that they have been waiting for all their lives.
But it is this funny vague instruction manual that is whispering to you that
He is the one.
The hands have never fit that neatly before.
And you thought for a moment,
You really realised that his eyes are a nice warm shade of brown.
When you are left shaken and down,
Seeing him really makes your world literally goes round.
You do not know why you say the 3 words,
But you just feel like letting him know because you are unsure if tomorrow will always come. You do not know why you miss him,
But you know that is the feeling of missing someone when you find your mind inevitably creating an image of his smile.
It could be an inadequacy of some sorts,
Emotional weak-willed, overly dependence on him...
It does not matter.
Cause It is what it is.
That simple which leaves no room for thinking or contemplating.
Love is abstract only when you try to deconstruct.
But why dissect something as innocent as say 1 2 3,
Or make an incision on the reverse side of its altered ego?
It is then a futile effort to pinpoint something that is never alive in the first place.
The resurrection of it is only lies when you can say "Love is you".
And that is perhaps,
What It is.

confessions

2006-08-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

*An Internal Monologue*

I guess it’s all a lie… and maybe you were all along the master of deceit.
For sometime, I was guilt-ridden.
And I know Reason tells me that I need not be.
So, that guilt must come from the place called Compassion.
A good friend told me that I do not owe you any explanation.
And I agreed.
Yes, it was a chanced encounter.
One that you were rendered invisible by default
Cos’ they say that in a lovers’ world,
All that matters were the two people standing together.
Momentarily I did felt bad,
Cos I thought I did made you sad.
So what is worse now that I weigh the two sides of the coin?
You feeling sad while I feeling remorseful?
Till I realize that all along,
You were happy with possible new blossoms.
And that did make me feel duped.
My mild anger justified itself when the tone of your voice was shooting accusations.
And that was a big fat irony.
My conscience is clear.
Cos’ when given Time,
People do transcend the multifold stages in Life.
And I am glad.
Till that mistaken misconception that I still owe you my empathy.
I guess now that I have seen,
I owe you none at all.
Thus do stay the way as you are now,
But don’t fall into the same pitfall as you did.
Cos’ a moment of folly can breed possible resentment and regret,
Even the dearth of a friendship.
So with those cathartic lines I have vent and expressed,
I wish you all the best from now.

2006-08-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

Blog is Beautiful... Or you are Beautiful By Blunt?

In today's issue of Urban (a mini "magazine" created by Straits Times), we get a glimpse of the 4 famous Blogger Babes in Singapore.

Favoured by most as eye-candies, they are namely, Dawn, XiaXue(Real name: Wendy), Vivian and Feliza.

And if you just happened to flip to that particular page 12, it's no wonder why they are such sweet lasses.

3 outta 4 are have doe's eyes when they smiled coyly at the camera. 1 looks pretty stylish and has good attitude. One simply looks too sweet for words. Oh, and the most famous one who got signed by a modelling agency... she does look like the girlfriend of Bugs Bunny.

They really look like strawberries on shortcakes. Creamy, pink, sweet, fluffy, babelicious. Basically, they did Singapore proud cos' we do have our display of Taiwanese lookalike girls.

One of the 17 year old who got voted hottest blogger at www.hottestblogger.com in May, says "I used to have the perception that pictures galore is essential for a blog... However, after receiving comments saying i was being a narcissist by posting too many pictures, i decided to upload only well-taken shots."

If you know me well enough, you might imagine my famous roll-your-eyes-and-smirk.

She is too sweet... and will i get hammered by her fans if i just take that strawberry off the shortcake and toast it around on a frying pan?

Pictures, yes not "picture galores" are essentials for blogs. Mainly to serve as illustrative purposes when words fail... or when the blogs are not "descriptive". Pictures are great handy tools because they speak million words. So once in a while, in blogs which are more reputable for "brains" rather than skin-deep beauty, we can find some pictures... but NOT "Galores". (Maybe she meant Picture Gallery... cos' galores are simply not used that way. Or either she, she must be thinking about food when she was being interviewed.)

Next, the idea of narcissism. Blog-writing in essence, contains a slight element (maybe more for some) of narcissim.

According to www.freedictionary.com, blog over there refers to:
a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies.

"Personal experiences" includes positive and negative events of one's life... And the very idea of sharing such experiences where any Tom, Dick and Harry can let their eyes roam in an online medium.. means that the blog-writer is very aware that he/she is standing at a pedestal to be make known.

Or disregarding the very medium of blog-writing. Inherently, humans are narcissitic. If one receives feedback that he or she is indeed narcissitic. Accept it as an inevitable fact. If you are a blogger babe, accept that as a "compliment" (which to your unconscious state of mind filled with bubbles, you do not realise it as a fact) and do a little sweet curtsy and smile.

The action of eradicating the nice photogenic photos entrenched deeply in your "pictures gallore" is a much unneeded attempt. Esp if you still make no attempt to upload better photos of something else (other than you), but still upload "only well-taken shots".
~That certainly was a fruitful attempt at changing history. >_<

In this entry to debunk some famous lines made by the good-lookers, one good thing to learn from them is the 5 top ways to look good, when taking pictures.

1) Strike a pose
2) Use cheapskate cam cos the poor quality in making blurry images gives the effect that one has good skin
3)Lighting: No Flash please. It spoils pretty eyes!!
4) Digital imaging: Adobe removes blemishes, digitally. Hooray!
5) Do not show skin unless you wana attract perverts.

But sadly, as i scroll my eyes to the very last line, they didn't shed any skills or 2, with regards to writing better blogs.

Tragic.

propaganda?

2006-08-15T20:50:00.000+08:00

Propaganda? Hmmmmmm...

Clip 1

Clip2

My sc2214 lecturer just showed Clip2 during lecture today... and it sent guffaws of shared amusement amongst the ppl in the auditorium. Think probably all of them are arts student. Cos' i am really wondering how i might react if i am a biz student of nus, sitting in.

But..I can only say that the business school from this particular campus is sure filthy rich.

Cute ads... Corny? Cheesy? (*grins).
("You know that they don't sell chewing gums there."---> Singapore's a Fine country.
("And the boys are too cute for my liking."---> So Singapore guys are boys who look too immature cos' they are simply tooooo "cute"? Or is it because to the ang mos's disliking then, Sg boys didn't "graduate" well from the puberty stage?)

a local advertisement made to laugh at the so-called pecularities of our local homeland through playing with misconceptions and stereotypes?

Though i am not a Singapore guy or boy (anyway according to ad2, Sg guys = boys), i did feel mildly insulted. Minus the fact that this ad managed to create some laughter. But if i am not wrong, the brainchild behind this, must be made locally. No wonder it stirred controversy.

Nehz... 2/5 stars. (2 stars for trying hard to be cheesy. Failed for trying to create a black comedy.)
A Lit' too commercialised.. It'll be good if they come up with an ad for all the different facs.

1st day @ school... And so far, it went great. Cos no casualties as in, tripping over shoe laces.. (*yup, as if i still wear canvas to school.)

Long queue at the Central Forum for the nice school diary. (*Free).

Suddenly recalled that i never catch sharon around in school today... (*Babe where r u??!!!)

Bought coursepacks. (*yeah.. i can read as bedtime stories...-_-)

Saw new batch of year ones... and some familiar faces. I darted one. Caught in the rain.
The rain god made a big fuss today. Been pouring for 6 full hours.
Rushed to school. Walked almost as fast as a superhero. Scurried to report to sab about that face that might sent fears down our spines. That we both laughed for being so evil.

Soci of Mass media is really fun today. It's the 1st time my eyes never drooped, or dart around.
I found another relevation.. so if anyone is going to ask me what the heck Sociology is... Here are some answers from my lecturer.

Treachery of Sociological Knowledge:

~Sociological debunking slaughters sacred cow-> Discomforting for it causes imbalances in the way you perceive reality might have been.

~Sociologists are not the cheerleaders of society. They don't paint you a nice, rosy picture of the idealised country.

~Sociological perspectives threatens the
(a) individual
(b) government :->questions the bases of legitimacy.

And what happens if the individual or the society feels threatened by such perspectives?

We have...
(a) Nihilation: Dismissing the knowledge as mere "opinion", i.e. subjective.
(b) Foucault's History of Madness: Dismiss the knowledge or the good sociologist as loonies, just sprouting crazy stuff.
(c) Jail. (*yeah.. jailed.)

I found my cup of tea, so far. (>_<)

love pact

2006-08-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

The Thing about "Love pacts".

Actually i was just wondering if you ever heard/ came across good friends making "love pacts".

Not that this sudden thought has got to do with a friend of mine... haha.. i still remembered while at a gathering, news leaked out that he actually made a "promise" to one of our sec sch classmate that... If she is not attached 5 years later from now, they will wed/get attached to each other.

5 years am i right?

Grins. So that particular day, all of us were teasing him and making jokes about it.

Then today, another friend of mine reminded me of it. This friend was commenting about the last episode of the chinese hong kong drama.. "Xi guan da shao". The lead female got married to a doctor whom she really loves and forsakes her previous crush. Then the ending was, her husband died and therefore, as luck could have it.. she ended up with her first crush.

So as i say... This kinda love only happens on tvs.

If i was the director, i would probably make the doctor live till old together with the lead female.. till happily ever after. (*Cos' i don't like that first crush guy.. .. grins.)

So from the show, it seems like the secret love pact was that if the lead female's husband died, then the second man could take his place.

But i guess, substitution sure doesn't feel good.

If ever there should be a love pact... i think it should be like this.

So the love pact should be made say...
"Whatever years down the road, be it you are single or attached... i will still give my best shot to be with you. Unless... you are not living in the world then.(Not because i think we were both be left on the shelves..)"

Woah. Sounds romantic or utterly corny rite?
Of cos' that line from an imaginary script does not serve as a source of inspiration for my particular friend who made that 5 years.. erm.. risky love pact with a previous classmate of us...
But haha.. if he ever edit his lines, it might be radically different from the usual "love pacts" whereby 2 gd frens might made. At least it might heighten the success rate of that proposal. (*chuckles.)

But on the other hand.. i think a love pact made bwt 2 lovers is really, utterly, romantic.
Whether is it idealistic or just naive thinking to others, i think it's still a pretty sweet thing....
(*lost in my world...... >_<)

Take it my mind is malfunctioning right now cos' tmr's my 1st day of school technically (not counting the previous "1st days").

To bed i fly!!

school's blues

2006-08-14T00:51:00.000+08:00

The Docks' and Geeks' guide for Returning Students, and New Students.

Oh no...
Please don't, DON'T for a second, remind me that school is starting this coming week...

Please don't, DON'T tell me that i'm going to arrange tutorials and bid for them again...

Please don't, DON'T nag at me that it's time for the bi-weekly readings that are to be discussed during classes...

Please don't, DON't screw up the tutorial bidding system and there goes my 5day/3day even and odd weeks of school.

Please don't... Don't....

The above rantles really sounded like i am being held at gun-point, pleading for mercy...and praying for a miracle that my killer might just spare me my little, miserable life.

And then, what appears is that i am actually contradicting myself when i was just saying how much i preferred schooling to working in my previous entry.

Women are sure fickle-minded creatures.

Or either that, there is this subconcious hierarchy in my mind.

1) Slacking Life
2) Schooling
3)Working

Now, you might wonder why schooling is still placed on top of working.

In my 101 WAYS TO SLACK WITH POISE (*ps: book not published yet cos the author have yet to finish writing the 1st top 10 ways to slack with decorum... and secondly, the author is not yet famous and still schooling in Nus's FASS.. and thirdly... no publisher have yet to sign her up...), schooling deserves a better place due to the fact that one can skip lessons by... feigning a bout of stomach flu... or PMS.

Work is harder.. cos' the amount of guilt that comes with taking too much paid or unpaid leave is able to cause one to be downright remorseful the very next day when he/she returns to work.

School? Hm.. that is the homegroound for students to be rebellious, to express attitude, voice out their heart-felt opinionated views, and just simply, BE COOL.

Yea. That's us. Only use such tactics when u can still be a student. You might just drive your tutor/ lecturer berserk. (*But do use it wisely... only on BAD....... lecturers.)
Oh, and in no wise ways, should you ever screw up the lives of your tutors.. cos in the world of undergrads, tutorial's attendence and participation matters greatly.

The subtext: lick your tutor's boots.

Maybe i am rattling my head for a major brainstorm... seeing what tactics i can use to brush up my school-wise mannerisms. Using what power i might have accumulated from my previous 2 years in school, i shall see what kinda bollocks i can come up with.

CASE A: The Frightful CANTEEN
Oh right. Fooooooood Galore. Rite? No wait. You are missing one point. Besides the ever so delicious and mouth-smackalicious delicacies to offer in the canteen... we do have some BABES and HUNKS dining here. Undergrads or post-grads having their masters... surely will have their cream of the crop eating some Yong Tau fu or laksa noodle rites?

ok.. For the first thing... The food place will sure be damn crowded.

C0s' we have the 1)slackers (*yes me!) lazing like a snake at some corner,
the 2) eaters (*yes me, again!) hogging the place for say 20 mins in order to finish their food so that they can rush off... (usually fast eaters are also the hard-core muggers) to the library.
(ok... i am the slow eater kind).
and yesh.. 3)the paraders.

3) paraders consist of the so called babes and hunks. We have 2 categories here.
3a)~ so-called babes knows they have the right assets to flaunt.. so they air it like nobody's business. They are donned with micro-minis shorts, ghastly heels with loud colours, messy hair, chunky earrings, thick mask of makeup which i suspect they might have reused from the Army's green paste, faked tans (*the sprayed-on kind), lunging boobs or deep *"valleys". But they are not that pretty on the face.
~the guys so far, hasn't got a thing against themselves. So for the so-called hunks, they might be caught up in a tangle called the Disillusioned and the EGo-deficit disorder.

3b) Real hunks, and babes!
~ the qualities apply to both gender. Confidence, poise, right attitude, smart.... whatever is gd, throw them in!

So there you go.. we have all sorts of people in the canteen.

Either u will be scared, or just, sit back and relax. The canteen is a theatre.

And TActics for "Chopping seats" at the busiest hours (12-2pm)....
1) Dont use tissues. Cos Tissues are a rare phenonmenon... usually in a group outta say 6 people, only 1 will bring tissues. And that was shocking cos according to previous semesters' observations, i realise it is the males who top the Tissue LIst.

2) If you spot an eye-candy sitting alone, quickly whip out your imaginary laptop (*even if you forgot to bring), and ask if you could share seats.
If it is a nod and a yes plus a smile, Bingo!
Get small snacks! pretend your r waiting for your friend who is usually late....
Check your watch occasionally...
If not your hp....
Then.. make small talk..
("wow.. what's that you'r eating? Looks awesome! maybe i will try that after my friend reaches.."

3) If you encounter people waiting for the seat underneath your butt and you refuse to scout cos' you belong to group 1) (The Slackers)... Don't be shy!
~SMALL Burp.. and say.. "Boy, i think my stomach is still in for one more dessert!"
~"O man.. that person is late again.. left 1 more hour to discuss project and bet he haven't eat yet!"
~Fastest Way: "Sorry girl/man, i think we are not done with licking our plates clean, yet."

Alrite, that's all for today with the Docks' and Geeks' guide to school!

NDP

2006-08-11T16:48:00.000+08:00

The buzz above hdb flats whereby a few f16 planes soared above us...
That was enough to send me and mum hurling to our living room's windows to catch a glimpse.

Watching NDP in the comfort of our home surely can't beat those people yelling and playing with the Kallang Wave at the stadium.

The feeling was well, euphoric. I figured.

My virgin experience with mass crowd and watching NDp live was 2 years back. Minusing the Racial Harmony Day during secondary school days (or was that primary school?), such experiences always induce me to love my homeland more.

Supposedly, i am taking this Sociology of Mass Media for this coming semester. Alrite, it is a fact cos' i got that module. This is what my nice little lecturer says,

"Dear SC 2214 (Mass Media) prospective students,

If you are planning to read this module, you are required to watch the National Day Parade (August 9 2006) on television. Pleae check television schedule (it will also be repeated subsequently).

There will be a discussion on this telecast during the first tutorial meeting. All visuals in this module are materials that are examinable (i.e. may be asked in the exams). For example, these questions were asked:
#How does the National Day Parade telecast compare with Leni Riefenstahl's "Triumph of the Will" ? (You will be exposed to Riefenstahl in our first lecture session).

#What is "fascist aesthetics" and what elements of such an asethetic are found in the National Day Parade telecast ?"

As a friend of mine always says, nothing is completed till it is deconstructed.

And then, think of it this way, The people who generate this idea called the NDP must be bright geniuses who must have read the article written by Leni Riefenstahl.

"Still confused ? Welcome to sociology: it’s an uncommon way of looking at the world."
~ By my nice little lecturer.

And just when i regained my new found interest of studying and Sociology, i realised i am only left with 2 sems. Most likely, i am not doing my honours years.

Last night while out with sab and bren and slacking at Indochimes, they were saying how much they prefer working life to studying.

Maybe my work at HDB hub as a temporary fieldwork supervisor is less interesting than say, working at Citybank's office. And that could be why i still prefered stuffing my pretty eyes behind lines and lines of words.

Nothing beats thinking at a deeper level, rite?

Come to work, what might be the common topic bwt you and me would be...
"Say, what's for lunch today?"

And then...
"Yipee.. we are left one more hour till knocking off time!"

"Should i cut my hair?" Qinyi asked.
(haha.. ok, I asked practically everyone.. and i did! Alrite, just 2 inches off to shoulder-length hair... -_-)

Maybe i am just a nerd reincarnated from my previous life.

Or maybe, i am changed in another way. Put it in this sense, i might have found some parts of my self.

Sab was saying that studying is a "means to an end". Bren second that. I kept my silence and my mind was spoken out loud by Bren who said that i seems to be in deep thought. I told her i was stoning. And ok, maybe i was trying to half-kid them. I seldom stone.

If studying was our means to an end, then does by implication from Sab's, that our ends are ultimately landing ourselves in cushioned jobs (slogging first.)?

Last time, i really hated studying. I hated the education system. And hell. Why should we read and read, if ultimately, that's not gonna apply to what we are going do in future. I always thought we were mere humans made from cloth and threads.

And then, i started to find articles and articles written by people, spoken with real wisdom, interesting. I found out that arguing, debating and ultimately, conquering the article is a fruitful and challenging process. Just like Vice Dean Ass prof Paulin.S used to say,
"Sociology is just like sitting under an Apple tree and then one day, you see that beacon of light."

I find that to be applicable to all materials that i came across with.

Studying came not as "studying" in all the essense of that word. It used to be laborious, and perhaps, it maybe still is. But i started to erase and scrape all the silly ideas that studying is a nerd's job.

A newer lingo is "mugging". And "mugging" came to be fashionable, and a trend that won't be despised upon. This is because, that is the main job scope of all undergrads.

"Mugging" requires long hours staring at materials that might be examinable. Wrecking your brain to see if there's any new angles to reading that piece of information. And basically, just tryign to understand hell of what the author is trying to say. And lastly, cursing the dead writers because they could have used simpler language to carry their ideas across.

So why is "mugging" the new novelty?

It is, just so because it is also an uncommon way of making one look at the world around you. Not to erase the fact that after battling each piece of knowledge, it does make you feel more wisely, more worldly.

So come and ostrasize us, the muggers. And basically those who vote schooling to working.
"If you can't conquer the world, conquer the dead's words."
~ A.Q.y

handicapped toilet

2006-08-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

Utilise Handicapped Toliet, please!

A colleague and friend of mine told me an interesting tale today.
(*Note: the above tale is not just a tale but based on a true story.)

Her colleagues were waiting to switch off the eletricity at the office. (the story was something like that la.. grins.)

Then, he/she knocked on the handicapped toilet........

(*Dont worry.. this's not a scary tale..)

Then,

A man and a woman came outtA the handicapped toilet together.....

OH MAN!!!!!!!!

I am thinking if that kinda fantastic thing ever happen to me whereby i am the first witness... goodness..i can't imagine how i would react...

So all of us at HDB hub were discussing what will we do if we were in that person's shoes..

Km were saying.. " if i am the person who saw that episode.. i would say..
'Hey..( *whistle) you still need someone to teach u toilet-training??!!!"

Km added again.. (she seems to have lotsa wacky ideas, wackier than me..)
"Both of you are handicapped? or one of u is handicapped and need someone to acc you to a single cubicle?!"

Then i was thinking to myself.. my reaction will be..
"HUhhhhhhhhhh?!" (*Acts super blur...)

Best rite..? hehe that will make them so downright embarrassed cos' the whole office lobby would have heard them...

Then again, if you chanced upon a guy and a girl coming out of a single handicapped cubicle toilet together.. what would your best bet be??

*Wicked Grins...

1) Quickies?! (*or a little longer than quickies? who knows hw long they have been locked up willingly together with the toilet's stench...)

2) Trying on the most "in" lingerie" and that guy happened to be a fashion critic for his lady?

3) smoke together inside?? (*come on.. who r they kidding.. only got one seat- bowl. *rolls eyes)

4) Take a breather.. Together.
As the saying goes, Three's a crowd. Nothing beats two become one.
The air is fresher in the toilet??

5) Bitching about the Boss inside?

6) Or the male showcasing his new red CK briefs in private?

hahah.. what's your bet? (>_<)

funny

2006-08-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

Dark blue navy colour: Sexy, dashing and bold.

Painted on all your 10 little toes: magnificently eye-catching.

I found a nice little navy blue with little micro sparkles today... A lit' gem to brighten up an otherwise monotonous daily repetition of working...

That 1 hour lunch break is the daily escapade that every workers looked fwd to. And when it came, it was simply an energy booster.

I am still counting the days to next tues when i can be bailed out and get my slight freedom of sleeping 12 hours a day.

While waiting for the glistening paint to evaporate into thin air, i let my mind roam.

And inside my mind, i run a couple of thoughts:

1) How to get my butt outta a party in the quickest time possible tmr and perhaps, enjoy myself as well.

2) Wonder what the next sem will be like minus the predictability of the nice food in arts canteen.

3) Wonder how my life will and might change.

4) Wonder about how 2 years ago, i was still a fresh-woman (AnD why must the person who came up with the word "freshman", not come up with "freshwoman" as well? Biased...)

5) Wonder, wonder, wonder.. what the future holds.

Basically, just wondering if i own the lens to a crystal ball that foretells my future, will i want to see it?

It's natural that all of us seek comfort and solace in everyday's predictability because it does give an illusion that our worlds are simply in order. Not hinting that infact, our worlds are chaotic. But then, with this little basic illusion, we can continue with our everyday's existence.

And then Man turns greedy and lament about the monotony of days. I am not excluded of cos (though i am a Woman).

Down the road, i am waiting to see if i can discern how much i might change... and how much i am constant still.

And something to grin about: a gd fren of mine gotta crush. >_<>_<). This is for u... psyche.. Grins.. Seeing this will make u fly up to the ceilings and hit the skies... Cos its a super crushy feeling..
Crush-Mandy Moore

Ooh ooh yea yea yea, ooh ooh
You know everything that i'm afraid of
You do everything i wish i did
Everybody wants you, Everybody loves you

I know i should tell you how i feel
And I wish everyone would disappear
Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me
And i'm too shy to say.....
Chorus

Ooh, i got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush when I'm with you
Ooh, i've got a crush on you ( a crush on you )

You know i'm the one that you can talk to
Sometimes you tell me things i dont want to know
I just wanna hold you
You say exactly how you feel about her
I wonder could you ever think of me that way....
Chorus

I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush when i'm with you
Ooh, i've got a crush on you ( a crush on you )
Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to,
nobody knowsI got a crush on you, a crush on you,

I got a crush
You say everything that no one says
But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you,
I will always love you
Chorus

I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush when i'm with you
Ooh, I got a crush on you ( a crush on you )
I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush when i'm with you
Ooh, I got a crush on you ( a crush on you )

UnWell

2006-08-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

Song of my Day to recommend.
UnWell by Matchbox 20.

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

(*Was searching for new hairstyles to inspire my so-not-awe-inspiring mob of hair... And this is what i found... outta the tons of hairs.)

Best HairStyle (and Model):

ToTally Hot and BReathtakingly Drop-Dead-duno-how-many-times-gorgeous rite?!
Yea, she is Boa. Super, super chio.. (*oops.)
Grins.. It's no wonder she is such a guy killer..

And i really suspect.. a nice hair looks nice, all because of the model owning it.
(*She is soooooooo pretty!) I love her hair too. *Faints.

2006-07-31T00:42:00.000+08:00

Some Absurdities of Redoing a blogskin...

I like the person who came up with the language called English.
And especially with the person who came up with the word *"scoff".
Neat word.

*SCOFF:
v.tr.
To mock at or treat with derision.
v.intr.
To show or express derision or scorn.
n.
An expression of derision or scorn.
[Middle English scoffen, from scof, mockery, probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Danish skof, jest, teasing.]

Why this word? Cos' i am scoffing at myself with what i achieved, and abandoned, in a mere span of 120 mins.

I was trying to revamp my blogskin and found a sweet little chocolate indulgence, with a cutsy little cherry as its' mouse cursor.

What a cherry to top on the cake.

Spending say nearly 2 hours figuring where the heck to rearrange the java scripts...

I...

Decided....

To...

Throw

A

White

Flag.

(-_______--")

For the major thing, i think piecing together jig saw puzzles seems more fufilling. Much less to say, less nerve-wrecking and hair plucking.

But in actual fact, the main absurdity i found was that, i gotten sick of the picture with chocolate fudge and cherries.

With just 2 hours of staring at it, i really swore that the picture of cherries and chocolate gave me slight zombie sickness. (*Though cherries seems to be the "in" thing with girls these days).

Not relenting at finding a cute cherry for a mouse cusor, i decided to give it one last chance at locating the script, and incorporating it to my present one.

(#$#%^$&%&%*^*^*^*^*^*)

A whole load of misalignments and bizarre words flying all over.
(*Hands flung up in mock exasperation.)

The misery of keeping the pros of old blogskin and combing away the cons of the new ones. This shows that it's not such a nice easy feat to merge 2 into 1 creations which are bred from 2 different blogskin creators...

I guess this current blogskin still looks better, after staring at it for so long.

What a fruitless attempt, and albeit a silly one.

And putting silly actions aside, i recalled a column in a magazine that i saw yesterday, with "little chicky" (used to be known as x.h.z. *impish grins).

So "little chicky" and i stared down at the TOP 5 THINGS GUYS NOTICE ABOUT GIRLS.
If my memory didn't fail me, here they are:

1) Little idiosyncrasis
~> according to this point, every girl has her own perculiarities. Be it her small little mannerism at a dining table, or just the way she flips her hair... such little actions are enough to drive a tingling shiver down the males' spines... or simply, Drive em' back to their mamas.
(*Chuckles)
So for the females, a little humour goes a long way, and who cares about the silly way you flip your hair, or tilt your little airhead?

2)Face?

3)Smile?

4) Legs?

Ok forgive me... i really got poor memory sometimes. Call me a goldfish. The one best thing i could remember was Number 5. COs' it just tickles me, the way the colunmist puts it.

Here goes:

Number 5) BOOBS
(*Grins.)
~> according to the writer, who i presumed to be of the other side= males, says this,
" We don't care if yours are small, big, or heaving to the sides. Cos' to us, as long as their breasts, they are beautiful".

The last line written with such candor and male gusto... really deserves my compliments. It is a superb tongue-in-cheek kinda comment, which not many males afford to admit to in a female magazine.
Seeing that line, i simultaneously passed that mag to"little chicky", with a goofy grin. So it was true anyway, seeing his expression while he read that female magazine.
His expression was worth a million bucks.
(*Chuckles)

(too bad, i couldn't locate that name, of that peculiar columnist.)

2006-07-29T01:08:00.000+08:00

Obsession:
"Compulsive preoccupation with an idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety."

I met Obession today, or rather, the personification of it at a birthday party.

You know someone is obsessed with something when he or she rattles about the issue/topic/ or spin lingos. An example: Sexual lingos that is always met with knowing looks and hearty laughter.

Yea. Bingo. The person scored As in making every gatherings worth all the while.

And yes, one could be even obsessed with someone else.

You know it thru' the eyes when someone looks @ you for answers and seems more interested in something else, not here.

And i am weary today. Physically, and mentally, fatigued.

Let me bathe in a tub of nice smelling tangerine, filled with the intoxicating powers of Vitamin Cs....

Bring me to lala land... and give me strength not to be tongue-tied tmr when i finally get to see a female friend whom i never glimpsed @ all, ever since the previous semester ended.

It's pretty puzzling why i have such *adverse reactions when i got a last-minute news that she might be present at a small little female gathering tmr.
(*Such strong reactions could be liken to a mild stroke and hyperventilation).

For one thing, oh well, some guys might find her a looker.

But then, who am i in a position to pass comments abt her characters when i don't professed to be a saint myself?

I am still a friend or a school friend to her still.

And this might teach me to reserve my heart-felt comments to myself, and perhaps, causing me to hold my reins, and bite my tongues. And stop being a moral crusader.

Like i told a trusted friend. Ask me to engage in superficial banter, i might as well be a mute.

And then, i look on the bright side of life, like you always should. And there! Alas! A strong beam of Hope. Well, maybe things won't turn out that bad afterall and she could be one of my guardian angel passing me a Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookie.

(*okie. Slap me awake from my reverie okae. Yes. i mean rite now. No wonder Hx just commented to me jus now that although we are both capricorns, i am more optimistic than her. I should correct her and say, "Cos' half the time, i am sleep-thinking, entrenched in dry sarcasm...")

2006-07-27T23:23:00.000+08:00

Where do you go - Fort Minor

(*Really, awesome song... )

2006-07-27T20:17:00.000+08:00

I love The LakeHouse.

"There are such beings in the World perhaps, one in a Thousand, as the Creature You and I should think perfection, Where Grace & Spirit are united to Worth, where the Manners are equal to the Heart & Understanding, but such a person may not come in your way, or if he does, he may not be the eldest son of a Man of Fortune, the Brother of your particular friend & belonging to your own Country."

~ (Jane Austen (1775-1817), British novelist. Letter, November 18, 1814, to her niece, Fanny Knight. Jane Austen's Letters, Oxford University Press (1952).)

It's a pretty idea, and one that could only be fashioned from none other than the Romantic novelist's, Jane Austen.

(*A woman spent almost her entire lifetime waiting for one man who was the love of her life.

Withered, and forced to coerce by social stigmatization and family obligations, she ended up with someone whom her family thought she was more suited for. )

(*From Persuasion by Jane Austen.)

And that was the fate of Kate's Mum in The Lakehouse, who married a man whom she loved lesser than the one before him.

So Kate is not going to let it happen to her, will she?

A writer used to say that Time and Space, is the same. And it doesn't matter where you are.

A love without limits.

That Reaches across Time.

Can this be happening?

Why Not.

Somewhere only we know...

Wow.

I Really Love it.

4.5 Stars.

Catch it.

2006-07-23T01:25:00.000+08:00

Some Snippets from Thailand (Part 2)- Graphical Version.

At this hour, at this moment... typing words for certain, doesn't make much sense.

I should be...

1) Rolling in the comfort zone of my bed, tucked under my covers and thinking of a certain someone and dreaming.

2) Dreaming and sleep.. and basically, sleep.

But seeing that one of my good old friend had already updated his blogs and pictures on our Thai trip, i decided to "kapok" some nice pictures and put em' here (whilst we patiently wait for the pictures to be delivered to our hands tmr evening at Xr's bdae party...)

My top faves... (*All pictures copyrighted and from Sy's super good cam.)

Our driver Yk.. This pic is super hilarious...

Super, Super, Super... CUTE and PRETTY And LOVABLE PUP!!!!... wonder what breed it is.. It was sleeping so soundly in my hands.. omg.. wish i could kiss it.. it's as cute as Ellie.. MUacks. (*hope my kiss flies to Thailand and landed on the cute pup's face!)

(* Ps: anyone know of this breed please tell me...)

*This pic of the Ferris wheel looks super ZAI with Sy's super good cam.. omg.. makes me feel like a princess when i actually took it.. lucky no motion sickness up there!!

Night scene from Baiyoke Sky hotel.
The expressway sure looks like a runway for toy cars.

And lastly.. us with the goodies.

Still feels good to be home... >_< And was a nice experience to be travelling with the safest ppl in the world: your bestest pals. =)

For more details on Thailand and the best food and shopping spots, log on to my fren-Sy's blog to get a glimpse.... For a full blow-by-blow account of the 6 rangers' escapades in Thailand...
*Grins.. Thxs Sy for recording all the details of our group's trip!

2006-07-20T20:47:00.000+08:00

Get De-Idolised on Wed's nites.

It's a good thing i managed to watch the 2nd season of the Singapore Idol, outta aimless sheer boredom. If it was a purposeful intention of making my way back home in a mad rush against work traffic and having my heart pant with anticipation... i can go bang my head against some concrete walls.

For one, the standard dropped drastically. The chinese SuperStar contest is really, far much better than S.I (And i can say that with both eyes closed). Good-lookers aside, i must say S.I has a collection of weirdos.

We have a one guy who uses his ebony black hair as a face mask 24-7.

A girl who tries too hard to be punk.

Aside from Mathilda and Jonathon Leong (who is from nus i think), the rest has none other than what you might say, "endearing or powerful" vocals strength to boast @ all.

And trust Class 95 The Flying Dutchman and Glenn Ong to remark that S.I has a higher standard than the "cheena" idol contest. I really wonder if their hindsight and brains had been fried, just like the 3rd judge of S.I, Jac.

I thought she looked pretty beautiful on t.v-sweet voice, sweet personality.
But her comments made me pretty disappointed, and terribly awed.
If you called a sweet 20-year-old lass airhead for being pretty and a "flower-vase", then what do you call someone who is closing to 40 years of age, and only sprouts "productive comments" like: "Oh you are a doll."

If ken is filled with brains and satire, then the woman sitting next to him must haven been his adversary.

O, and Dick and the 2nd judge (forgot her name) has indeed brush up their level of perspective and feedback from the 1st season... At least something to celebrate.

But all the slight pros aside, S.I 2 has really, nothing to boost about. (O maybe for the guys, jasmine Tye and for the girls, Jon Leong. My hot fave is Gayle, sweet girl next door. She's got a nice button nose =)

(*Ps: Anyone knows when The Lakehouse is coming??)

2006-07-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

My virgin flight
(ok fine it was with Jetstar...=P)

Clouds all big, white and fluffy.
Innocent-eyed, they smiled at me.
I was high up riding on top,
And everything feels like magic.

The sun was a warm fuzzy white,
Nothing too harsh,
And doesn't feel rough.
The sun was smiling too.

I cupped my hands at the single beacon of light,
And placed my ears against the glass windows...
Thumpety-thump...
That was the game that i played with the Sun and Clouds.

I felt an urgent brush of hands on my shoulders,
And a deep guffaw.
And there alas!
Was the most beautiful sight anyone could laid eyes on...

The naked islands of a beautiful She.
Her sparkling waters that meanders and frolicks ever so playfully...
The tall erected buildings that looks like cute little cottages.
A lovely sight beyond my words.

Up, up and beyond!
I am Aladdin riding on a magic carpet...
Carassing the face of the windows,
I could feel its' shivers.

And the Wind decided to play peek-a-boo.
So He covered my ears instead of my eyes,
And i swallowed with a slight twinge of tension.
Everything was fine again.

2006-07-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

It's funny how sometimes the least you seek for somethings, they just magically fall from the skies.

Been wondering if it has been the Women's Monthly Woes that makes me easily panicky... These days, it just send me into an angst. For instance, i quote a simple example.
I am submerged in this silly fear that because of some silly miscalculations of modules, i might need to stay back for one more semester and take just one silly module... That would be any uni student's worse nightmare.. (*Cos' it did happen to some people who don't keep track).

(*and alas of cos it was just another worrywart forming at the back of my brain- a tumour to be removed.)

And just when i was seeking for answers as to how many certain level 2000 modules i need to take, the url link just pop out from the untraceable and un-user-friendly Nus FASS webpage.
Looks like my unspoken prayers are better answered by a dead webby rather than some mute msn socio friend from school.

I can feel my crankiness seeping thru' my veins... and how i wish at times like this, i do pray that the Creator grant all women without menses.
And my previous entries are all so funny and weird.

It all explains thru' the law of nature.

And then on my way home, i took a sideway glance at the big banners that was hideously decorating all the little green trees around my district.

ND is coming and you can be sure to see bright smiley faces, with their right hands stretched upwards, waving....
(*And you might be confuse as to whether they are endorsing for a Sunkist advert or Chesdale Cheese- Say Cheese.)

And at that moment before the Green Man flashes, i was thinking to myself: Are the people who came up with those posters of MPs having a bout of CRankies when he/she/they was/were super-imposing the pictures, or simply, they have no sense of creativity? It just seems that the drivers can't helped but be amused by the ridiculous and ever-smiling faces.

It's no wonder that it is not woman with short skirt that is traffic-stopping... but banners without a sense of taste are just simply, traffic eyesore.

(*Prayers for tonight: make the world a better place, again, and may all Women be cured of Crankies.)

2006-07-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Rigid principles you abide to,
Stiff moral values you withheld.
In the exact space of this moment,
you hold that strong piece of conviction.

Time is the worst evil.
It makes you forget.
And one day if you loses foothold of that same instant u made years ago,
all the beliefs slip away.

What is it you are holding onto right now but just gobblets of air?

Captain Jack Sparrow thought he got his convictions right,
in his first series,
he set his sights on the Black Pearl.

Then in the second series,
The magic compass in his hands wavers.

We change with every moment,
or do we?

Do we always know what we want everytime?
And that the compasses in our hands will always guarantees us the right directions?

I think i am lost,
except for that tiny shred of hope that still glimmers in my hand.

2006-07-16T21:14:00.000+08:00

My Sardonic creation from upcoming women's blues (monthly)

When you feel that you cannot breathe,
And you struggle for that moment of peace,
You know that's because something is drawing near.

At times like this,
I yearned for the dark places unexplored.
Wishing i was the next Christopher Columbus,

(Sail, sail, sail away...)

I wished i could lose myself totally,
Immersed and drowned in the blackest corners.
Losing it all
(maybe my sole identity).

If i am in total self-control of my self during the day,
Then when the night drawls,
My evil twin starts to swing.

She swaggers,
she sprouts heinous deeds which are crimes she swore she never would commit.
Drugged and cynical laughters
(Wasted).

The darkest sides of human nature,
How much left undetermined and hidden?
How much you dare to unravel?

2006-07-16T03:26:00.000+08:00

Snippets of Thailand in verbal english (Part 1)

According to the above title, you can mentally trace that the person who came up with that title is not really in a creative mode.
Fussy things aside, i think i am an unconscious perfectionist... or a spoilt woman (brats are solely for kids use).

Thailand was neat and fun. And recently, i love to use the word "neat" (it replaces the much overused "cool", much neatly). The country is not neat i must say, and as they always say, the company is the main factor that makes the journey, a whole load fulfilling.

Beggars were strewn carelessly on the streets, and the broken bridges seems to be their destiny for homes. Walking on many such bridges, i am just caught bwt a mixture of aloofness and pity. Seeing the homeless and the poor striken with mixed diseases is indeed a foreign feeling, so foreign that sometimes, it caught me offhanded that i do not know how to be neutral.

The air is thick... with dirt and leaded smoke, coming mainly from the exhaust pipes of the vehicles (i reckon most were from tuks tuks and the taxis).

The sun is forever shinning down on the restless people on the streets, and yet invisible. Ocassionally, there were some heavy rains.

The vendors of the night markets were like vultures sometimes. Ocassionally, we met nice ones who may speak a little of our native languages such as English or Chinese. But such ocassions, were very rare. Talk about a mirage in a desert.

The sex peepshow or "Tiger show" was a major unfortunate event whereby there was one misfortunate "Casualty" who got swept slightly on his butt and a sensitive hot spot. And... cost each of us 400bht (with unfinished beers on the bar).
Dripping fats that were creased with either age or many sex operations, voices that were booming loud and proclaiming a voicebox that used to be males', sleazy smoke and gazes, very overused virginas in a super unhygenic areas with reused needles, coke, sprite, ping pong balls, darts, bananas, silly music, and last of all, memorable dance moves lined with more cellulite...

What more do you want to pay for?

The performers on stage is more crudely put, "porn stars" with slightly more entertainment value. At even worst, you can deemed them as freaks with elastic virginas. At best, they are like you and me (if you don't mind putting yourself down a bit), humans.

While i was watching the show, i was observing not the antics or stunts each were capable of doing, but more so of their professional expression. Some pestered for tips endlessly. A memorable one was this lady who was the oldest. Her expression was unscrutable. And bespoke even more depth then any person i have ever seen. When she was inmersed in her work, I thought i spotted pain while she was trying to unscrew this metal cap of a glass bottle with her V. And i think that flash of pain, certainly wasn't my imagination.

It's not just sex for laugh, it's her job whereby it ensures her bread and butter. Oblivious to the lewd and demeaning gazes of the audience, she was just doing a job. She was the only one who never asked for her tips.

Another happy face performer was calling for tips at the same time. Pestering our group for 100 bht each but met with unmet gazes, she reduced tips to 20bht. That is like less than $1 SGD for stunts that could ruin her womanhood forever.

If ever one thinks that beggars are to be looked down upon especially if they have hands and legs to work for a living, then sex performers are perhaps even banished for ridiculing their moral center and body.

They are the unforgiver sinners, in heaven, in earth, and maybe in hell. Cos' the female body is forever priced as priceless, in the males' gaze (if the woman is his), and in the females' gazes (cos' they do shame to the females' body).

So there i was, stuck in my own thoughts. If tiger shows were all gone from this little backward country, were their living be much better? For whatever reasons, the show din't leave me feeling good because i can't help but shed sympathy to them. And there i was with Dl as this juncture of the show, discussing about morality and choice. My pity starts from the focal point when i think it is the environment that pushes this performers to be slaves of their own body. And dl was pointing out that they do have a choice to do other stuff with their lives.

But there i was, these 5 days, besides heavy shopping and good food, was thinking about how much choice and control do we all have in life... much less to say people like the sex workers. If they don't sell their bodies but be like the many day-time vendors dotted all around bangkok, would they sustain their barest living?

It's pretty much a sad thing when i think back abt the tiger show.

The Cabaret Calypso was all worth the 650bht. Pretty ladies or men, they don't matter cos' they all look at home on stage. Theatre is their homeground and they look every bit, the woman.
Applause is their hope. (And i wonder what could be the thriving thing behind the sex performers in Potong whereby audience do not give them the same recgonition).

Besides nice food, a different culture, a different experience and nice friends, i won't say i was stuck there with an empty mind. But i guess, nothing still feels like home.
And this sounds so corny but i still got to say it here, it really makes me appreciate the very much taken for granted Singapore. And i still love the safety bars sometimes, maybe even unconsciously... ...

2006-07-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

Getting" Eunuch-sized"... Or not?

(P.S: hm.. i was thinking previously that if university fees were made in Thai Baht...
So if it is 6k, that means, after conversion, it will be approximately $250...SGD...
Super cheapo fees...
ok, don't mind me. i am floating somewhere, half asleep.)

Today in the office, the ever brillant 3 musketeers: Me, Jie Yue, and Beng Har were talking abt circumcision. (*Grins). Pretty interesting topic to be talked abt behind the safety of closed doors... And maybe Beng Har is reading these very lines right now.. *haha...

Hm.. Just pretty awed by the very image of a circumcision process... Think it will look decently gory. (*Almost as bloody as saving Private Ryan i think.) Not to mention, obscene by the traditionalists. Oh, or by the Convent schools...

But let's not imagine the process but the possible pain, infections and harm inflicted upon the Circumsized One. Somehow, it just makes me think that the process is almost akin to making the Males, eunuchs.

The whole thingy is pretty ouchy i suppose.. So i wonder why some people opt for it... Some advocates of Circumcision includes the blogger cum cyber comedian, Kenny Sia. His posts are lovable, i must say.
And their arguments were : "Oh, It's more hygenic cos then, we won't have flies circulating round our Peter".

Ok, granted, so the above is my line, not by the ever famous Kenny Sia's witty lines.

Hm.. maybe we should ask a circumsized guy abt the being more "hygenic" part... but that i aint sure.

Another favourite argument For circumcision was, "It's helps to achieve better sexual performance."

Hm.. sexual peak? *Shrugs.

But the non-advocates for circumcision were battling the same words as well:
->Circumcision weakens potential sexual arousal.

Anyway, not only the pathetic male species are having constant dilema abt to be made a half-"eunuch", apparently there are female circumcision as well, just less common.. But it is a common phenonmenon in tribal countries such as Toga.
(Toga?!.. yes guys, and Togarians are not just only, famous for kicking balls which are coincidentally black-and-white.) =P

And the Difference bwt a "She" and a "He" which i realised...
: The He who loves to kick balls, watches many Hims kick as well.

Granted again, i love to be an F.C.P. *(>_<)

2006-07-06T00:28:00.000+08:00

More hair- raising and yelping in mock frustration.

Just shoot me straight in the head and let me wither and faint!!
ok, i admit i am not a planner, neither someone whom you can place an "O" infront and add "rganised".

i hate clocks and i hate every minutes that tick by...
Just Realised i got practically No time!!

No time to sleep my fitful 10 hours plus a day... no time to do a decent face mask, no time to self actualise myself... (*Rolls Eyes..)
Alrite, basically, i just wish i can sleep forever and get woken up by a deadly kiss from a handsome prince in some cobwebbed castle ok? let me sleep and faint.... ........

ArgHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ken's bash this fri..
And the second bdae coming up is Ger's.. this end July and i am running nuts with zero idea of what to get for her...
Shoot me again. i wan something she will lurve.

And the thai trip is this coming sat, and shoot, i haven't pack my suitcase. (Ok, that will be the least of my worries, at this very minute.)

And the sucky module preference exercise held by the ever brillant Nus. Which means i CANNOT procrastinate in planning my upcoming sem's modules anymore till the 31 july... Really Turn me off..

Every budding sem.. the planning of modules is already a hair-wrecking phenomenon.. much less to say the bidding system. I swear i can kill the whole bureacratic arrangement to be efficent.

As i say, The more efficient they profess to be, the more stupidly ironical they make themselves to be.

Shucks.

Hopefully this is it:

1) Sc3214 Sociology of Life Course and Aging

2) (*Throw me one decent level 3 socio module from the sky please... i can die nw.. when can i settle this by tmr if that is the only free day for me till 10 july.. Sobs Sobs)

3) Sc 2203 Sociol psychology

4) Gek 1531 Intro to Cybercrime (Science module which is compulsory.. and please burn down the whole sci fac please...)

5) (*throw me another crazy module from the skies)

#%^&%&Y%&%Y%#$@##%$^
(*curses.. and the soci modules i wana take is not being offered this sem... where is the common justice in the world if we pay 6k plus per yr, in SGD? I shld have buy a voodoo doll and make sure our fees are paid in Thai Baht. -__-)

I need help, Angel, if u r hearing my prayers and noting my yelps and cries. Though that is not the end of my world... Sighs.

2006-07-03T23:28:00.000+08:00

So what if the sky is falling...

I am still standing.

I shan't sigh...

Time passes like nobody's business these days... and school seems like it is gona crack soon.

Once the euphoria over black and white balls made from different countries dies off, i think there is nth grand for Singaporeans to cheer abt, except maybe more Durians.

(-_-)

These days, the aromas (or stench for some) takes a sneak into the heartland of Singapore : Toa Payoh.. And everytime during my lunch break at Hdb Hub, i will be sure to get a whiff of the new "Durian perfume".

(-________-)

Casting durians aside, I think there is nth for me to cheer abt, except maybe the upcoming thai trip, bdae bashes and oh... SCHOOL.

(-____________-")

Gawk.. leme faint on the spot. Yes. I want this patch to bury myself like a tall skinny ostrich.

2 of my gd friends are going on SEP which leaves my school life, with 2 lesser surprises. Drawing a comparison when i was in year 1 and now, school seems a bit stale. Except that these will be the stuff that makes it sounds a little bit, titulating and neater:

1) Course pack ( endorsed with interesting readings)

2) More readings from the library

3) Possible films/videos to enrich my learning experience at Nus's FASS

4) Sadistic Lecturers with drier sense of humour and wits that beats mine.

5) (Veronica might be vouching for cushioned lecture seats)

6) More Droolicious food at Art canteen

7) (Veronica getting herself up to dress up again in school)

8) a parade of good-lookers, males and females species alike.

(*ok number 8 seems a bit stale now... i think i am finally getting sick of good looking people in school. They seem boring.)

Heralds to school... and i am a nerd.
ARGh. ArggggggggggggH!

2006-07-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

Bet you eaten frog legs before!

So what do you get when u put 3guys and 1 girl on a cycling trip at the East Beach, dotted with babes clad in nice shorts and tops, sunglasses, tanned bods and muscles, puffing dogs, smells of the Banana Tanning lotion and sun block, salt, sea spray, Cable skiing, Gigantic Sun, REd faces and Blar Blar Blar...?

The answer is, ok the girl gets a "toner" thigh when she goes cycling with 3 guys, who unwittingly, reserved a "Full day" cycling spree.

Maybe tmr my legs are gona look like frog legs.

Yhew.

Lucky no casualties.

So Wj = my dearest black pig,
Timo n e white ken who wana get tan and me, the girl who wana stay fair but end up getting tanner than the White one who kept continuously spraying his Banana Tanning lotion (Note: SPF4... Compared to my SPF30, also Banana brand sunblock and cost more expensive... Rats.. $#%$%Y&%&$^$Y$Y

GEnetic problems... (*Throws hands up in exasperation)

So ken and me were cursing that we shld exchange some genes.

It was quite a fun cycling spree..

From East coast, we cycled to the Concourse.. and wow.. Suntec is indeed not far from East Coast. And the guys were looking at me in wide amazement when i pushed my bickie into Suntec for free air-con.

(-_-)

Anyway we needed to cut thru Suntec due to roadblocks.. so after not much psychoing, all of em safely got into Suntec.

Just Imagine: Sweat, Tan, Banana Sunblock and Suntan smells, Grease, Bickies, sneakers, and 3 scandals, and not many people gaping.

Lucky they dint take up my dare of cycling in Suntec Shopping mall... Quite a neat idea rites? *Grins. Pity sharon caught the fever. hahaha if not she may support my silly idea..

Think i got a bit tan.. and really bummer. Imagine if i din even put sunblock, with the scorching temperature today, i swear i'll be a walking charcoal.

O and speaking of walking charcoal with its striking resemblance to a dead black corpse, we all sat inside an Ambulance...

(-___________-")

Driven by Timo's crazy fren who was 2 years younger than us, serving his ns i think.. haha. a road bully cos apparently, he horned like nobody's business, and switched on the Siren with Alive and kicking youngsters like us, jus in order to get a quicker ride and being able to drive thru Red lights..

hahaha.. But i like the attitude.. Radical! Probably if i get such authority, i mighta abuse it abit to get some positive leeway for my frens.. *Evil grins.

And....
This week's gona be fast...
Cos Boy, i will be flying and saying hi to clouds! Wonder how will the thai trip with all my 8+ years of gd pals be like.. probably more lame jokes and laughters and hahahaha... a secret thought but boy! its such a huge relief to be travelling SAfe with no worries of Who-ever sneaking up on us!
*Evil grins. And pray, all my angels will make sure the sicka-fella won't ever lay hands on all my gd pals, ever again! Even if angels are busy, i can do a fine job of taking a Broom to SWish him out of our lives, FOREVER!@!!!

Haha.. can't believe i got so much Gusto! Must be the adrenaline leftover from the bicycling.

Damn shagged. Really shld slp soon.

And still got no idea why ken wans Red CK briefs for his 21st. *Grins.

2006-06-28T02:10:00.000+08:00

Speaking about marriage proposals and princes...

here is one funny clip.... about a 猪头 proposing.. i give it four stars laugh factor.
Stay tuned to the end.. a tip from a mother to a son abt the best way to kiss and tell...
(*grins)

2006-06-27T20:21:00.000+08:00

Got this from a galfren's blog, who got that from another frens' blog.
(.n_n.)

It goes something like this..

''Maybe a person needs to meet many people, then will he realise who's the most precious and dearest to him. No doubt that he might choose a wrong person in his journey, but as long as he can pick himself up again, he will look for the true angel in his life.''

I guess our frens' blog are also our daily source of inspiration..
(*Grins.)

And I am feeling so happy and fuzzy for her.. cos Wow.. She got a marriage proposal!!

HUGs HUgS Hugs! (*Hee.. will we get to be one of the bridesmaids??)

We are fixated at tis magical 21 years. Should we say it's the prime years of our lives, or simply, the most beautiful years of a girl's?

I guess it's like every girls' fairytale, to meet the Prince of her dreams, a knight who will save her from all her distresses.
Maybe the medieval setting doesn't seem so apt to describe what a marriage proposal might look like.. but i think, it's quite close. (>_<)

Cinderella's dream, Sleeping beauty's hope to wake up, and Snow White's belief that she can be with the rightful one.

I remembered discussing some stuff with that paritcular fren of mine, abt doubts and inhibitions and trust.

It's pretty hard to decipher the true meaning of a person, much less to say words which might have meaningless components as Time washes, or words, that weigh barely nothing. And i know skepticism is high on our list sometimes. Self Defence is the next best weapon to preventing potential hurt.

Because of nightmares and hurt that we still bring forward, these are also the shadows which are past reminders of the wrong persons we mighta met in Life.

But i am glad that after going thru's a part of our 21 years, despite some stumbling blocks, you have truely met an angel who is able to give you that magical faith. That magical belief that most of us are missing, or refusing to believe everytime.

Now, now, i am starting to believe in that for every person we meet in life, the arrangement is definitely there for a Reason.

Perhaps we are all learning how to trust, and after meeting the pricks and thorns of the previous times, we might be on the right track to finding our most precious and most brightest angels...

2006-06-26T00:19:00.000+08:00

“在恋人的世界里，时间是停止的。”

爱情不是一道能选择的题目。。。

“三个字”。

OST soundtrack from Green Forest, My home.
(.n_n.) Lovely song...
(Notice the guy in the MV, Ethan Ruan Jing Tian..)
And i got such a shock when i saw on my msn.. this person put "Hi i am Ruan Jing Tian"...
Cos' i realise got another fren of mine watches the same lovey crappy taiwanese idol drama serials as me..
Ivy Lam.. lols... FIVE!

2006-06-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

When did we all stop believing?

Got this from kenneth's bloggie.. And can't help myself from getting attracted to the beautifully crafted lines everytime i clicked on the blog.

"You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

- Dr. Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy

**************************************************************************************
You wish the things u used to believe when u were a child, come true.
Maybe as i grow slightly older again, i may begin to lose more age old memories.
I become more cynical, more bitter, and more sarcastic.
You too.
Seeing all the "bad stuff" happening, you can't help but sneer defiantly at what is the so called promises, true love, and even family ties.
And you stopped believing what you used to believe in when u were a child.

I used to talked to an imaginary friend when i was young.
Not some form of psychosis or a reenactment of "Sixth Sense".
If you choose to anaylse that in the eyes of an adult, you may shed pity on that little kid who has nothing else to do but talk to her dolls and maybe, to another invisible being.
Thru' the adult eyes, you see her as someone well deserving of pity, or someone to be loved even more cos' she was so lonely as a kid.
Two brothers struggling with their own dreams to pursue, girls to peruse and chase, and days of strumming love songs on his guitars, dances, studies, relationships in all its forms...
And for me, much of the universality of childhood dreams is attributed to Enid Blyton and the Cinderella tales, and even Santa Claus, someone so alien in Singapore.
And it is common to relish so much as a child.
So many things you hold precious to your heart...

Then as i grew older,
We have the idol drama serials that influx the television screens.
Meteor Garden, though corny and cheesy, was a phenonmenon no doubt.
And why do so many people see that kinda crap, and always on the upfront, says it's indeed crap?
It is.
Me included.
Gone were Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Sleeping Beauty but something called the Right One.
Is it all media sensationalism that serves to con our money, and maybe our beliefs?

Then at times, i remembered i buy very much into the Guardian Angel Theory.
Someone fair and blonde, light, with feathery wings, small, maybe pixie faced and just so hard to catch the pretty face.
Whenever i fall, i will stand up magically and spirtually, it is my Angel's wings that make me fly.
And then, as i grow older again,
Sometimes, i get chided for being so silly.
There's no angel for godsake.
And maybe, there's no god.
Utter naivete and foolishness.

And i am such a silly dreamer and utter silly idealist.
Though firmly my feet are stuck to the earth, and i do things by rote,
The other silly half of me imagines a white window sill and a big sunflower by the side, with bright sunny days.
I lamented many times why we don't have the four seasons here.
So i substituted the Rain as the cousin of the Snow.
So i love the rainy days sometimes.
And when Rainy days make us cry because when we re feeling so in the dumps,
You stop believing altogether.
You told the next younger one to wake up, stop all the fairy tales to spun repeatedly in the brainstream, and just work hard and get the 5 digit salary.
Everything good is bollocks cos' that someone from above will pour somemore bad stuff outa his magic bag to you.
So you stop believing.
Good things never lasts.
So Angels are false.
God can be the next person beside you, or even you.
Or God is just the market forces of demand and supply.
More bitterness at life.
And the thirst for the little good things when we believed in increased all the more.
The fantasy of what our life would be...
Where does it lie?
You close your eyes and count to three..
And you open, you curse.
It's so different.

Read a tale of an angel trying to convince of a girl suffering from cancer.
The angel tries very much to say...
Of trust, of innocence, of Faith.
Of the fact that even the oldest lady, when she is sleeping, has a child inside her.
And it is manifested in the ability to make funny faces.
Everyone of us, as the fiction character says, has a child inside us.
And we should awaken that little child, and continue to believe in the good things in life.
Maybe at this time, they didn't come.
but Faith, is the very one thing that manifest itself in the next person you trust.
Count to 3,
And open your eyes,
Maybe you will see things coming true...

2006-06-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

the few moments ago, i was flipping cyberly thru the past few blog entries of my galfrens..
The thing abt "regrets" wrote by one struck me..

So this line is for you babe,
He will be smiling @ you in heavens, knowing just how much you have made him smile..
And i am sure, he has heard your little prayers in ur blog... cos i believe in that kinda stuff too..

There are times i woke up with nightmares whereby i dreamt that my most loved ones are suddenly gone.
The dreams were so surreal and real at the same time, that as i woke up so disorientated, i almost thought that the dreams were really happening. I did some shaking and jolting to my big head, and wiped away the tears woken from the nightmares.

Just realised that the last time i worked at HDb hub was 2 years ago. 19, fresh-faced, more giggly. And now, i am staring at an almost similar picture of another tempt staff who is 19. Time flies, and time proves all the more like a gem.

Everyday is work, go home, dinner, bathe, tv, computer, sleep.

24 hours, and 24 x 60 mins in a single day. Devoting one quarter of it to sleep, the remaining 3 quarter is left for: Self and Others.

Sub dividing that Others, we have:
bf/gf, friends, family

Each day really really flies like the f16 plane.

Just makes me want to cherish each day spent with my parents, family and loved ones.
Thank you babe for reminding us of the precious little gems we all have in our lives... and the simple gesture:

Cherish.

Seize the day, everyday.
Carpe Diem.

2006-06-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

Some updates...

Yipee...
terrifically happy cos tmr is my day off...
Reasons:

1)Can pig/sleep the whole day
2) morning run at the stadium
3) hearty breakfast
4) a hair cut in the afternoon...
5) meet s,qh and ken for some light shopping and dinner.

Yummy.. how yummy fri sounds man. Feels like partying away into the nite!

And goodness gracious.... i found my dream hairstyle!!.. finally..

And i think my hairdresser will kill me lahs.. lols. ok.. the animae girl is real cute and of cos come out def wont be like her.. but her hair really rawks.. makes me so tempted to dye my hair red again...

More pictures of the fab hairstyle..

Haha.. the animae babe super chio rites?
Gosh.. but her hair is fantastic.. one of the characters from kingdom of hearts. She was originally a blonde.. but think she looks so great with the red hair..
and somehow.. i think she got that kinda face that kenneth will like... Wahahaha. ok scratch that.. any guys will fall for that face. (*oops. and hair... )

sigh.. if only i can dye red again. (>_<)

And congrats to me, i finally after duno for hw long.. clean up my rm.
The tedious process of tidying up my room after emptying the stuff onto the spaces of my rm..

i can't believe how much stuff i have.. faints.

And after that.. Tada!

ah ya that was the false impression.. i din take any pictures yet.. grins.. still thinking of buying more stuff to decorate my room.. but i finally hung up the 1000 jigsaw which sharon they all did for my bdae gift.. Finally it's on the wall! hee.

(*the above pic is the fieldwork rm at HDB..neat rite. i got this whole rm to myself!! But gosh, it's freezing freaking cold in there.)

and last wk.. i took cute cuddly pics of baby Ellie!

she is getting cuter and nottier everyday.. but think my pictures don't do her justice.. hehe.

2006-06-20T20:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's entry (penning it in ink...stray thoughts during work plus a girl's premenstrual blues)

Knowing that you are proud doesn't make you a better person than the next proud person who doesn't know of his pride.
Knowing your pride and failing to do anything about it and accepting it as an unstoppable nature by default may just reveal an unnatural order.
A proud man only sees himself standing at the tip of the universe.
Though he knows his position,
He can't make himself bend and compromise.
The Simple man loathe the conceited one,
And a Proud man can never stand the next second proud man standing beside him.
With age, the Proud fails even more to see where he is coming from.
Even the most humane empathy,
He can fail to grasp.
Of the beauty, the intricate human r/s,
He knows nought.
(And i thought he knows the anatomy of it all.)
The Proud can spun many lofty equations,
teaching his younger how to be successful in life.
He drew a comparison between the Successful and the Non-successful.
Making the Simple loathe him even more.
The Simple only wants the second next simple person to put himself in the heels,
and maybe feign a little humanity.
In every matter,
Is there always Right and Wrong?
Is it wrong to be Proud?
Is it wrong to be Simple?
And what if you chance upon a matter that is gray?
Do you call upon a judge to pass a death sentence?
And if you were convicted and no one believe your innocence,
do you feel like passing your own sentence then?
And if another group of your closest believe in you,
does it really make you feel better?
The Simple believes in the simple truth,
and the magical 3 words,
is all it takes to close up the raw wound
( as fast as Wolverine does).
A pity that it didn't materialised @ that moment.
3 words of belief and faith,
is all it takes everytime when the going gets rough.

Sometimes you chid myself for being too emotional,
to the point that you can almost stab myself a thousand times for being such an emotional bitch.
Every single time, passion and reaction takes on a rat race and there are always 2 winners being declared.
Letting too much emotions ride on your shoulders,
you reprimand yourself the second time that you could turn a blind eye to so many things,
and let them pass.
When there's some sticky business,
It's so easy for me to run everytime.
I can report sick,
Absent from my 1st day of work,
Go to some isolated place to cry to my heart's delight,
all just becos' of some reported casual expletives spewn from my gran.
Damn. (That was a curse too!)
See it this way?
Then the expletive wasn't directed @ you but in that fit of frustrated exasperation.
And so,
That could happen to anyone humane,
even my gran.
Think this way, i can fall asleep tight.
(And really i did).
Unless i am trying convince whole roof that my gran is simply a black wolf in white sheets trying to eat up Red Riding Hood,
I should smile cos' i already got some accolade.
But my first fan,
Believed in his wayward logic:
My imagination.
I didn't hear it cos oh, i might just turn say 85 years this year with failing earsight.
It wasn't meant for me.
Gran can't have said it.
The last line was magical, and i really wish to believe so.
And so my fan-idol who was/is my dad, playmate,confidante, advisor, mother, educator, guarantor,
spunned away from me.
My heart is sure made of some funny cheap porcelain,
if not glass.
I thought that it might just be better that everyone is just Adam and Eve,
Period.
No complex r/s, no bondages through blood,
No... nothing.
Then our hearts won't be made to shatter everytime some shit falls from the bright gray sky.
The big fat irony.

(That was yesterday... and reflecting back, i can't help but felt so silly goofish and peeved at how days of mine spin like some crazy roller coaster. I honestly think i am the female version of wolverine.. and yipee.. my heart is still made of some tough levis' material....haha. Think skin comes a think heart.
Cordial r/s back with my gran, and i meant cordial.
and i thought only i could come up with some lame limericks... she did came up with a double entre aka pun aka double meaning word with same sounding consonant, to replace that expletive that i heard, from my spoilt eardrum.)

2nd day of work at HDB and i can't help but grin. Andy fan, my previous supervisor cajoled me to work at their reseach department when i graduate. He asked me what i am planning to do next time, a pretty much "used" question asked.. but i really got no idea. The next predicted response:
Raise eyebrow.
then i said, O what can sociology specialise in, in the sunny island of Singapore?
A.F said "Here, here! we need sociologists."
Hm, i heard that line 6 months back too.
i retorted with saying how government jobs always required a minimun of good honours grade.

And i was glad to hear ine truthful but sad stuff:
As long as you are good looking,
you will be wanted anywhere.
(Ps: applies for girls only.)

Aoha Shallow world!

2006-06-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

Can any love gets any weirder with its array of stars, masquerade ball, a droolicious spiderman lookalike, an angel in disguise, a fortune teller that deals out the card of Fate, and a line that promises "Anything can happen tonight..." sealed with a kiss of cos'...

** The magical kiss that is to be exercise with caution...

*Really love the dress on Lindsey Lohan's. (ps: tis one is not from Sarah Jessica parker.. it's the one in orange, not shown here.) And Chris Pine...he should have starred in Spiderman...

And Factors that made me like this film... was that

1) Lindsey din't chose this dumb blonde. I hate dumb blondes, esp one that looks like the Ken in Barbie dolls. (*but wasted, he was the guy that starred in the OC's 1st season...maybe it is the angular square hair cut that makes him argh..)

2) the clothes that she wore.. gosh.. can make any girls swoon. Plus, her Fab hair and locks.

So the prince charming that took all the girls' breath away...

TADA!

Guys, lets zoom in on his eyes. That's the one factor that makes him a stunner.. if not...

He's gona look slightly like the Pitt guy. (*sads)

The asian poster looks nicer...

A nice movie, and maybe a little more than nice. >_<>

And next movie to watch out for, more serious, more "mature" and more of a love that can never meet.. a love that crosses over space and time, of 2 years.

The Lake House

Plus plus factor: Keeanu Reeves.

So after anaylsing the movie poster boys, it seems like the knock-out prince charming is someone tall, dark hair and adorned with killer eyes.. but no blondes please.. eh maybe except Beckam..0_O lols.

(And just yesterday, me and brenda was wondering how come there are so many disgustingly horror movies coming out, minus Silent Hill, minus The Omen, we have Slithers. To get a first hand account of how disgustingly horrifying and terrific their marketing is, check out the gigantic poster at Cineleisure, 2nd floor,i think.Can really make u puke out your lunch and dinner... i swear... I almost did. Yikes!!!!)

And today is Spring cleaning Day for me! Gona revamp my room into my girlish paradise... wish me luck! And just a side-thought, do girls really know when they are having their moodswings? I have no idea man.. grins.

2006-06-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

Last saturday (10 june)... there were 2 birthday king and queen..

Hee It is black and white.....

Both cakes were equally Droolicious.. but i am still a sucker for ice cream (the white) one. O_o

So who is that bdae king who suffered a terrifying crash while riding a bike @ East coast.. (bicycle ahems.),while trying to avoid a collision with this 10-yr-old indian girl??

hm here is this bdae boy.. finally reached his adulthood after much messaging of his head.. He gain immense psychic powers as his bdae gift!

Look at his awesome display of powers...

He could transform the whole party into an underwater sea-bash!! Terrifying RADICAL!

AND...
me and Xinyi...

Into eh... CLOUD 9.

Hee monkey and pig.. hmm journey to the EAsT.
(hm buy xinyi does look like those judges in the courts with that white fluffy thingy on her head... LOLS).

Hmm.. must say Hanteng looks Pretty with that hairband.. O_o*chuckles.

Next is AZRIn's bdae at P.Ris Arawnda. Very very big and comfy.. and the 1st thing me and x.h.z saw was this fantastic balloons on the ceilings.. SO so.. Romantically GIrlish!!! EVERy girls' dream!!!!

Hm so in this nice ambiance.. i took some pictures of some Coolie guy called Ibsen, one of my jc mates, when we were serving our "2 years jail term" together at JJ.

Hm i dint realise guys can be that camera shy... as compared to....

Haha.. Jo, Ger and me! (*wasted.. dint ask em to act cute in those pics..)

Hm.. and nice balloons are suppose to be made use of, don't u think???

hehe.. the pink and purple balloons are really nice.. really a great decoration idea which azrin tot of. and sooo her... (*gd to take pics with.. hmm..)

Finally, the class pic.. but a few were absent (grace, shiqin, norman and xiangyun.)

And finally.. credits to my camera-man, x.h.z, who forgot to look into the camera while we were up for snaps!

*haha!.. O_o

2006-06-13T22:04:00.000+08:00

Barely a second of speech, a second of breath.
How many breaths do we take in a lifetime?
How can each one of them, so short, change your life?
I hadn't been planning to say it.
But alcohol and truth have a strange sibling relationship.
Sometimes it's hate,
But sometimes it's love.
There are times when all it takes is half a bottle of Sainsbury's Rioja to loosen the binds on thoughts that have been pirouetting around your head for weeks,
if not months.

~ The A-Z of Us, Jim Keeble

2006-06-12T22:07:00.000+08:00

We cry when something is sad.
Then we often shed a tear when something's beautiful as well.
When something is funny or ugly,
we laugh.
Perhaps we are sad when something is beautiful because we know that it won't last for ever.
Then we start laughing when something is ugly because we understand that it's only a joke.
Clowns are funny to look at because they're so dreadfully ugly.
When they take off their clown masks in front of the mirror,
they become very handsome.
That is why clowns are so sad and unhappy every time they go into their circus caravans and slam the door behind them.

~Through a Glass Darkly, Jostein Gaarder

The poignancy touches, and the empathy created was so great.
Every role undertaken brings with it, its own measure of hidden sorrows and enacted joy on stage.
Someone used to say that the world was a rollicking stage, with many theatres and no one really knows what is going to happen next.
Amidst the guffaws of roars and winning money,
my happiness seems like a fleeting bubble of evavescence.
I was singing my own medley of songs,
I am totally ignorant to the world happenings,
except what was printed in bold called the "headlines".
I am snucked under the safety of my covers, these days.
often not in control of the terrain of turbulent self-doubts.
I wanted to dream, but often the dreams was not those that can withstand longer happiness.
Maybe it is not only clowns who cry and hide behind their painted masks,
We often slam the doors behind whenever we wanted to cry.

2006-06-09T16:54:00.000+08:00

Deleting em' away...

Sometimes do you ever wonder why when u throw away some old stuff, u feel so much better?
For one, the first thing i see is the neater presence.

Letters strewn all over in cardboard boxes, tugged safely at the dark corners.
Words that bring back nostagic elements of childhood, of playmates that used to keep in touch, and of the simplest things such as a small memento for keepsake and rememberance.
For some reasons, i am often caught in this wave of ambivalent tension whenever i try to clear up my room...

Photos of the previous classmates you have laughed with, played together with and sometimes, even squabble with at some times of our lives... It was altogther a mixture of everything.

I still remembered coaching a small boy abt my age during lesson. We were still nubile creatures of just mere 8 year olds. In a fit of exasperation in failing to make him understand simple grammar, i accidentally used a ruler to smack him.. and by default, the edges landed near the corners of his eyes. Tears dripped and i hurried to coaxed him into peace. We were close classmates then. And years later, i chanced upon the exact replica of that little boy. His eyes registered no recognition of me and with that, i was slightly relieved. He is big and strong, and is happy. He found the girl of his dreams too. Maybe it was this little bit of example that i remembered, which might be worth remembering.

Other times, there are so many things that by turning an oblivious eye, we can live better. As the saying goes:
"Ignorance is bliss".

Discarding may be a gesture of self-deceiving. Or someway or another, we are playing the roles of humbugs at different junctures of a cross-road.

Or throwing away stuff can sometimes really be, a form of cartharsis.

And it might be even theraputic for one to move on in life. Not seeing means not thinking about it, and the minimal, having a peace of mind;that is the simple equation if we piece that small logic together.

If only certain memories that send this sourish gile at the pit of ur stomach, could be deleted away and with it, comes a bout of amnesia.... ....
It might sound like a nice little novelty.

There was a chapter closed whereby a more-to-stranger-acquaintance came into my path. Friendship was not in the list. Or maybe it could have been. Though it wasn't that a grand closure, it was the closure, at least, one that i dreamt of. Thru' actions, i deleted the pieces which might just bring back that little bit of gile that always send my hands into a fit of cold and anxiety. It works.

And if memory works like that too.. it is really, double happiness. And much more than i hope for.

2006-06-07T10:51:00.000+08:00

The Thing About Mary

She's not Mary Magdelene.. Or the mother of Jesus.
But just some funny weirdo with "horns" and just too sick to get a life.

Yesterday after my 30 mins of my sacred bath-time, i went back to my computer which my 2nd bro, Geoff (And yesh.. he's back for gd!) was using initally. Physically, he had left my seat just moments ago... As i sat down on the warm red chair, i saw this pop-up msg from MARY in msn.

Puzzled, i tot, where in the heck did i have a friend by a name of MARY.

Then i read:

"Hey, care for S*x? i am feeling bored and horny.. come view my webcam at this URL..."

I was totally flabbergasted, disgusted and just pissed off, for duno what reason.

And here comes the power of the common used word called "F...", but a word that is collecting dust in my mental library.

I msg back "F off..." cos i am really irritated by such people.. and esp.. females msning me from duno where?!It is kinda uncouth and uncool coming from a lady but anyway, that was cyber language to a freakish Mary.

To my dismay, my own msg popped back, and registered that that msg could "no longer be delivered to the receipients". Means she might have gotten offline.. Total SIan-sation..

Argh... just when i tot i could do an amazing F-irework display on a deserving nuisance.

But then again, i dun recall having any such weird encounters whenever i am using my msn.... HMmmmmm...(*Raising both eyebrows..*)

omg! (*clasped mouth*) Hm hm .. maybe i shld question Geoff... *chuckles.
(Or maybe, i just leave it as that.)
****************************************************************************************

And that in the midst of chewing my food during dinner-time, my Eldest kor Jaff and my sis-in-law Janice, told me some funny stuffs.

Number 1: Choosing the right guy
Number 2: Religion
Number 3: Marriage issues
Number 4: temptations and infidelity
Number 5: Kids

ok that was weird.

Jaff said " you know, for a girl, she must choose the right guy. It's better if the guy is a Christian cos' he would be god-fearing, more humble, and that he will have God above him... It's less potential for him to go astray in our world of temptations cos more is at stake. The whole christian community would be on him..."

(*ps: not exact words of cos but the gist is somewhere there...)

For some reason, i was a bit disheartened that i wasn't born to be an Attorney.

Ronnie said, " hm.. well it doesn't mean Christian guys would be more faithful.. (*chewing food..) If a christian fears god, how can he be close to god at heart? And not necessarily all christians r gd people. We are all sinners, going by definition. What you said is just simply, generalisation and discrimination based on religion. Remember, Singapore? We shld not be racist, shld not practise discrimination according to creed, race or color..."

(*ok dun't u guys just love me?? haha or maybe not. *pukes. >_<)

My sis in law said.." ok, not generalisation.. but as in generally speaking. "

I rolled my eyes and gave a lopsided smirk.. Just how much do i have to hear more contradictions..

My gran was chewing her food, but totally oblivious to our conversation cos she is partially hard of hearing, and secondly, we converse in English whenever we wanted to have "private or secular discussions".

Janice continues, "ok for example take your bro and me for instance. The reason why i can trust him is cos he has God above him. It's easy for a guy, let's say to divorce and find another wife.. But for a woman, let's say i dun have children.. it's still not easy to remarry.. "

(Hm then my own private thought bubble manifested:"man.. dun tell me you guys are on the rocks?!")

My bro Jaff said, " we are very frank and honest to each other. Actually you know everyday, i am tempted.. every guy is. but a guy with god above him, would be less able to go astray cos having God above him, he fears god's punishment."

Janice interjected, " ya like last time when we were dating, if i see a hot babe walking past us.. i can be sure jaff would already see it b4 i do.. and i will ask him, hey see that girl.. and he would said, yea. Of cos he can't be oggling like so obvious la, if not any girl would haf gave her guy two tight slaps."

(*Hm ya like which guy who functions more to the call of his pelvic actions, doesn't? *Evils grins.. haha)

So ETc etc etc..

So our 1st topic ended off something like
: Must exercise caution when choosing the right guy...
:Must have faith in the guy's character before marrying him
:and how to know if the guy's character can be trusted? "Use FEELINS"--according to Jaff's doctrine.
:There's no perfect guy, but the person who might be most "right" for u.

And my eyebrows were perpetually raised up all the time when they told me all these...And hm.. i am currently 21? God? Spouse? babies or mating???

And the thing that struck me as most comical, i give it 4 stars:

Janice: "You must give birth, as a woman, no matter what. Cos' a woman's body will somehow have a lot of problems if they never. Yes, it's true. i mean i see all my single colleagues."

So must i give birth now? or maybe hm.. a woman shld give birth till she can't conceive so that she form a soccer team, that at the same time, guarantees her a life-long warranty called Longevity with diseases-free? I think maybe she would have run berserk with so many imps prancing and shrieking around in a squashed HDB flat. Say Halo to Woodbridge.

Sounds like a pro-family cult? *nods head. Wonders what's up with em' yest.
*shivers.

Maybe yest was just a weird day. (O_o)

2006-06-05T12:12:00.000+08:00

i really, really think that the 1st day of working, is jinxed for me.

1st day of working:16th may was initally 15th may. I reported on the so called wrong date due to the miscommunication bwt. the supervisor and me.
So the offically 16th may: i had this "blasting gd time" with my nose running joyously on the treadmill.

After the 2 days of mc...

My tummy finished orchestrating its supreme rock concert, but my throat decided to wreck a Storm. Now the throat is itching for a showdown fight and only till today morning, it died peacefully and i was finally, able to mutter a prayer of thanks.

So today was the day after my mc, and my nose decided to work itself enthusiatically on the treadmill again. But at least, i was glad it was just a mild turnado, @ least.

And I am back to starring in the LAMINATOR 3.

Sometimes taking some casual breaks, i decided to surf for this guy who is neither a plane, nor a bird.

He does fly like, nobody's business?

Like a bird, but yet he does not like to think he is one, in the public eyes.

And yea, he is quite a cutey pie and that is the blockbuster's selling point, or the "busting" point.

But luckily, they din't send this guy to star in this SUPERMAN RETURNS...

Think his name is "CHRIS" something?
Definitely a close shave.. if not i think millions would wana skydive and kill themselves right on the spot.. esp Lois Lane...

Neither this one.. Too Beefy.. And simply too hilarious. Think even the Lightning God mighta been a lit' scared of his meat and pounds.

So What does this SUPERMAN RETURN serves to tell?

Here's a little Synopsis...

"Superman returns tells an intimate story of one man's unattainable love and struggle to belong against a backdrop of vast scope and scale, set in modern-day metropolis."

And a little Quote from the Superman's Daddy.

"Even though u have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. They can be great people, Kal-El. They wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all- their capacityfor good- i have sent them you...my only son."-Jor EL.

Sounds a lit' like someone holy in disguise... *Grins.

So That means we "can be great" and that we "wish to be"... = we are not.

And one of my fave song... "Superman" from Five for Fighting...

I can’t stand to fly

I’m not that naive

I’m just out to find

The better part of me
I’m more than a bird…

I’m more than a plane

More than some pretty face beside a train

It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry

Fall upon my knees

Find a way to lie

About a home

I’ll never see
It may sound absurd…

but don’t be naive

Even Heroes have the right to bleed

I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede

Even Heroes have the right to dream

It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away…

away from me

Well it’s all right…

You can all sleep sound tonight

I’m not crazy…or anything…
I can’t stand to fly

I’m not that naive

Men weren’t meant to ride

With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet

Digging for kryptonite on this one way street

Only a man in a funny red sheet

Looking for special things inside of me inside of me ...... inside of me ...(x2)
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet

I’m only a man looking for her dream
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
It’s not easy ... wu.. hoo.. hoo..It’s not easy to be me...

Every hero have the right to bleed, the right to dream, and superman is just shelved under a silly red sheet looking for another girl's dream...

Another unattainable love story... Hope Bryan Singer directs this better than Xmen3..

2006-06-04T02:21:00.000+08:00

Getting disappointingly AXED...

In the midst of waiting for the remaining traces of moisture in my washed- hair to dissipate...
here is what happens:

1) my diarrhea is gone! (Yipee)
2)my throat is feeling better (Double Yipee)
3)But i got a running nose and slight cold. (Super bummer.)

(-_________-")

And what happens today?

I went to the PC fair with x.h.z and finally gotten my new 3in1 HP printer, @ a price of $99.

Caught Xmen3 too but the thriller was indeed deceiving.. Xmen2 was so much better.. and to think after staying till the roll out credits ended, we might be rewarded with a nice little surprise.. but it was again.. a total bummer.

ok.. here is my take on the movie.. just my personal rantings and disgruntles.

Jean had become cooler while Storm lacks her usual loftiness... I tot Scott (the guy with the red eyes and wearing sunglasses 24hrs a day..hope i rem his name correctly..hm) shld not have died so early and that.. Wolverine shld have more angst in him. Hm.. And i think the short sensual/sexual/lustful exchange bwt Wolverine and Jean has definitely gotten some cuts from the Sg censorship board.

Xmen 3 was in general, too short to develop any real action plot, much less to say, to transform the characters to rounded ones. If xmen4 is going to be another reality, i think it's best to resurrect all of the major dead people inside. Cos' there was no Mutants that really make one go "wow......" Angel was really disppointing cos' it seems that he only knows the only functional means to make use of his wings; that is to fly. (-_-")

The little "Botak" boy was even worse.. i half expected him to be God cos he can transform the ugliest sight to be the most beautiful ones.. But then, he din't display much of his poweress. Maybe the director decided to leverage on the praiseworthiness of xmen2 so as to 1st "deceive" the audience into paying almost $10 for the movie tickets, but ultimately, his only true weapon is a red-head who only knows how to wreck havoc.

And at the end of today, i must thank my x.h.z for helping me to carry the heavy printer home (knw it's really heavy and that printer almost toppled over a person's head while we were in the cinema.. gosh.. haha..)
and fixing it up.. HUgs! =)

hm. so leme publised some of his antics. See.. told u that u can act cute too.. lols.
O_o

2006-06-03T02:38:00.000+08:00

What i did on 31st MAY...

At work..i will be scratching away products barcodes...

I tot i was "bimbotic" enuff sometimes.. But the workload proves that i was rendered even more airhead... further. *haha. (ok calling myself names means i am not, okay? .. keke)

And what lies inside an innocent white lookin bag that begs you to take a second glance?

Dont Be surprise....

IT's FACE MASKS>>> AND MORE MASKS>..
omg.. just one paper bag and they can give away so many goodies..

And notice the mini "milk carton"... so cute rite? But it's a yogurt face mask imported from Korea... Yummy..

They have different flavours.. such as

1) BIRD NEsT Hydrating Mask.. (BIrd Nest!!!)

2) Potato (??@!@)

3) Raspberry (*hmm...)

4) GRAPE.. (*Drools)

Too bad they r not for consumption..

And That's all in Wednesday. After being the temporary LAMINATOR, i became the BARCODE SCRATCHER.

(-______-")

And then thurs, collapse with 2 days MC.

Scratching barcodes were too overwhelming for my fragile body...

haha.. kidding.

I got watery stools if that's the correct medical terms, or alternatively in chinese, means i 脱水...

just diarrhea.

The usual me wanted to take some slack from such montonous job and was thinking of taking Thurs off by coming up with some usual lame excuses such as ..

" oh.. something cropped up at home..."

"O i got migrane..."

"O.. i need to collect some assignments from school.."

And to think that by imagining some wierd illness, i would really be the victim of one...

So this teaches me not to curse myself sometimes.. And now my throat is getting slightly infected by the viruses in my body. And i remembered the last time i fell equally sick was 26th Jan.

What luck.

I think this teaches me yet another lesson.

To come up with even better excuses that does not warrant any imaginary bodily harm on myself.

And just today, after meeting bren and sab at settler's cafe in H.V, the latter tried to scare me unintentionally...

She just told me her collegue gotten Dengue.. and ask me abt my symptoms...

I almost thought my bodily temperature has suddenly risen to a titanic degree of more than 37.2...

We played 2 games during that 1 hour called..

GALLOPING Pigs.. (and x.h.z has the decency to say that it's my homeground game.. *Bish.. ^_^)

The second one was some Nigaria Game whereby we need to collect pretty jewels from our little boats.. (and our boats can get capsized due to "weather changes..)

Hm.. overall it's quite fun.. except.. wow.. we dint expect Settlers' to be located under a blk of HDB flats just behind Wala Wala.. (-_0")

2006-05-31T12:19:00.000+08:00

I saw pretty flowers just this other day,
Except the glowing radicance came not from the pastures,
But from the dead-pan gaze of a cpu screen.
(-______-")

The flowers came in all sorts of shapes and colours,
which bring a secret smile to just anyone who laid eyes on them.
And sometimes they make them wonder if they were real.
(0_o)

Sigh...
i wish i could touch those cute little blooms like my friend did.
(Aww.. Pearlyn.. u r so lucky! >_<) And just as I thought, Sy's fren, Ying, just happened to be the fren whom my fren, Pearlyn, is working with in USA (!!) Small world again.. *Grins.

Now now, *musing away.. Europe and USA is indeed a nice, nice place... Hee.. hm i knw Sy wants F&E (Free & Easy i suppose? >_<) in Korea, Hm.. i am dreaming of a F&E in Europe too...

Must be the evils of Term Break.

(0_o)

2006-05-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

Getting Uncouched.

Tis' is the best gift that i am giving myself light toasts to.
Yest, i finally convinced myself that i shld get my blood flowing to my brains again. (*hm ok not that literal in that sense...)
So i jogged downstairs, lifted some light weights, and did some stretching to my legs to get back some nice thighs. Grins.
Then to end it off, i climbed the flight of stairs up to my 10th floor.
I started to feel woozy once i hit the 7th.. thus it showed that i can't run any 2.4k just anytime soon.

I guess the normal self of mine won't ever run, or exercise unless i got a stroke from the heat, or some setback.

So i presume the so called "setback" was i jus gotten sick of being too predictable day after day, working at a stagnant office, seeing my comp screen and typing entries. Just for now. *Rolls eyes.

Or maybe, i just want to live long and healthy, pink and green.
Hm.

and anyway... i think running again requires some discipline to work. Cont running and running till u reach the pitstop/end.

"Run forest, Run!"

That's why the mind is so, so, powerful, then again.

I am so exhausted today.

Yawns.

2006-05-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

Extracted from her world mag, a year-old edition. (june04)
Get SPARRED, SpaRTANS!

alrite here it is.. For the spa-enthusiasts... check these out..
(Ps: sharon, we can go Batam for SPa treats... *grins).

(*prices in batam is less than half of it which u might find in Sg...)

(*Note the column in green.. that's where you should go if u r real keen on cheap Spas treatments.. )

But like the article mentioned, do exercise a little bit of caution esp with regards to bacteria infections with cheap spas..)

(*Omg.. and i just witnessed a car accident near my workplace... *faints.. and now here's the sounds of a police siren...

And seriously.. i think the rest of the perm. staff are oblivious to anything other than their computer screens.. Hm... and i am busy checking out the commotion from my windows... 2 guys gesturing wildly to each other.. *hm..)

(Back to work..)

2006-05-29T13:50:00.000+08:00

A Banana A day,
Keeps All your Blues At Bay.

One of my favourite Fruit...

*The power of a wonderful SCANNER at SAsa...
plus a bored girl during lunch break...

Honestly, the people here DON"T eat...
Tsk tsk...

Hm hm.. maybe i can promote a "Nana" business... bet u a dozen bucks that it will thrive like crazy...

*Cheers and let em' starve... Whoo hoo...

(>_<)

And.. Interested in the art of PALMISTRY???

here's Ronnie's version of GUEss Guess Guess!

Hm .. guess whose's hands are these..... (Q.h or mine? wahaha)

(>_<)

Mini Mani Mini MOe!

See the tiny mole?

That's a hint.. haha..

The hands do look a bit hideous though under this powerful scanners... and we are trying our bestest to maintain our sweet and coy composures. lest THOSE WHO DON"T EAT.. chance upon our little SECRET.. GRIns..

*Cheers to more straight faces @ work..

(>_<)

2006-05-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

My Fruit of Imagination.

I guarantee thee a long entry tonight...
Nothing visual, just something that is plain and simple.
Each night I crave to write something terrifying unlike, yet something reminiscient of previous memories.

Oscar Wilde says that "The only thing I can't resist is temptations".
Mine is the writer's itch.
I really don't profess to write great things,
But that a stranger or someone human who chanced upon some senseless writings of mine,
is enough to keep my wildest dreams burning strong.
Then what is your greatest temptation?
The greatest temptations of all men is to dream,
Dream of the wildest things that they may not achieve.
The allure of such is potent,
that doesn't stops to keep the burning desire in its place.
Someday, even the most pragmatic person will know that to dream,
is the greatest joy unfulfilled.
World-class journalist, a staunch politician, a beautiful star...
Translated: Peace, unanimous rights, fame...

What is your greatest temptation?

Anything that our eyes can't see,
is it the fruit of false imagination?
They say Religion was created many many years ago,
To give the Desperate false hopes.
So why should the Man lives on hoping each day?
If hope was so real, so persistent,
Then can Religion claim the equal truth?

Yes,
Then the belief is ever so strong.
The faith is true in the eyes of man.
Perhaps beyond all reasons that our minds can comprehend.

No,
Some seek endless voyages across timeless journeys,
Just to change some lines in histories.
To answer one question that spurs infinite confusions.
the fervent Pious condemn fiction,
Fiction which serves to mingle with the boundaries of truism.
But what is it that they know?
Maybe the H.G was really just a woman,
Or maybe, it is really the conoction of a beautiful mind.
In all falsifying testimonials,
it is the bud of a flowering imagination,
that we can never pass a verdict to.
So who do we believe?

I am sitting on the fence,
whistling a careless tune,
counting the days,
living the life of a humbug,
maybe like all others.
I can't change the world,
but the very mininal words in the histories pages,
perhaps,
and maybe one day.

Was my faith retarded?
The very faithful,
Can still go on questioning the recurring motifs she sees each single day.
The usual train, the common commuters, the exact predictable happenings which creates another fruit in her mind that hey, she could be just the next fortune teller.
And there she stands, amused.
Naivete, innocence, simple inmaturity, ridiculous bafflement, or desolatory desperation?
Or the simple hopefuls to witness an unchanging sunrise everyday?

(*Grey days begone.)

2006-05-28T18:36:00.000+08:00

The thing abt Dreams.

Somedays, i wake up dreaming of the most weird stuff.
Maybe i attribute that to sleeping @ odd hours in the noon.
Let's say what do i make of it when i was stuck admist a treasure hunt in a foggy setting...
Then the bait is my pale blue 37 degrees pencil case (*a gift from my jc fren some yrs ago).
This is totally bizzare..
*lols.
So i dreamt that i waS studying in a weird campus.. on second thoughts, it ain't that weird actually..
Then i remembered this sik guy with a turban and he did resemble Ali Baba.
Me and d.l was in the dream somehow and we went up to that Ali baba guy for some light interogation..
He got pissed..
(????*grins) so he was 0ur MAJOR prime suspect.
The end result:
An old lady came up to say she found my pencil case underneath some fountain, whereby she safekept it in her antique drawer.

I think i shld not slp in excess...*muse.
(>_<)

2006-05-26T13:05:00.000+08:00

WHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I am thinking happy thoughts.
(>_<)
Results were out and i am glad everything went fine again.
*Grins*

2006-05-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

I was walking home jus now, taking the slightly shorter route.
Tired and slightly listless, I was looking straight ahead, not concentrating on anything in particular.
Then to my “flabbergast-ment”, a boy say around pri 5,
Took his mineral water bottle and …..
“SMACK!”

I heard a disgusting “CRACK” sound and though I dint have the guts to see what hard nut that he cracked (Cos’ he was too fast anyways), I knew it was a snail.

ARGH.

Utterly gross isn’t it?

It was, for I stole a sideway glance at the dead carcass of a fragile brown shell.

Maybe given all its’ choice, it was born a slug.

It tarnishes the greenery, and is considered a pest, by us.
And for that briefest moment, I tried to give reasons for why that boy has to murder an “it” which did not even block his way.
It’s a little bit sad, somehow.

And upon reaching my lifts, I saw an equally freakish phenomenon that makes my hair stood on ends.

It was a stray cat… the “strayest” cat I ever saw. For it was real shabby, and it seemed it had flies circulating all around its head. And if I remembered correctly, those flies are called fleas, and they do not have a friend-neighbour r/s with cats to scratch each others’ backs.
Its fur seems like spikes, standing sharp too. And its’ back were arched, ready to attack anytime, though its expression was more of fear and hunger.
I was really scared for that moment.
Yet I took that instant and give it the fiercest glare I could mustered. (*and bolted for the lift).
Did I taste my fear out of a greater anxiety that it might pounce on me anytime?
Or was my fear out of a bad omen called superstition?

The snail case gives an insightful account of the powerless, its vulnerability rendered further when we know that its strength and speed is inherently impaired. What gives it the more injustice is when it has no chance at all to live when a huge force wallop the hell outta it.

The cat case gives the insight of an egalitarian power r/s whereby seemingly, the two parties have equal status. Maybe if the cat really was to pounce @ me, giving me its most lethal scratch, the worst is I might bent over and gasped in pain, and bandaged. But if I were to fight back, the cat might suffered more injuries.

It seems that we were borned, for some, to enjoy the pleasures of life, and life itself.
But life has its own boundaries, and pragmatically, its own structures and hierarchies. So what do the Living, in the lower stratum, enjoy most when they are bound to the living, who are on top of them?

Just how can we enjoy life?

“We don’t read and write poetry cos’ its cute.
We read and write poetry cos’ we are members of the human race.”

We read and write poetry because that would mean, we might appreciate the very essence of the air we are sipping in, right now.

Can we appreciate more life, more zest, more hope, more happiness, when at the exact moment, we are constantly living together in fear?

In fear of the tomorrow that may/may not come when the sunlight comes streaming in.
In fear of not doing the right thing at the right time.
In fear of doing the things that we deemed as right, which might be judged wrong by others.
In fear of making the wrong decision.
In fear of letting go of someone whom you din’t ever have the chance to thank.
Or love.

And if they say Love is something constantly on the minds of people, then love is like plague. For it is Life behind that mask of Love, that we are all constantly in pursuit of.

2006-05-25T14:25:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION TO ALL FEMALES SPECIES!
i found this article in this month Her World mag...
Grins.. and it shld be a "real investment" for flat chested ladies...*muse..

According to this article.. eating this chewing gums will not only erm improve sex life, but will increase bust size by 80%...
Hm.. this really sounds too incredulous esp when me and qianhui was reading this piece of article..
but word of caution to anyone who is even thinking of trying this product:

Do not chew that gum when u are standing on a train...(unless u r not wearing buttons shirt in front...) cos u just dun wan your buttons to fly and hit the forehead of an old man sitting right in front of u...lols. hm now that sounds a lot like that mentos advertisement.... =P

*************************************************************************************
ok and now the time on my watch says its another 5 more mins to 5pm, and 60 mins after, i will be knocking off very, very soon...

This timing teaches me to hold my breath, counting every seconds that tick by.

And just today, i was starring in my own movie called THE LAMINATOR.

I was cracking my usual jokes (as usual...) and think only my friends can appreciate my lame jokes.

I was telling Q.H (haha.. not Qian Hu Fish farm.. *grins) that tmr, i shall be starring in THE LAMINATOR RETURNS.. Cos i think i spent practically the whole day today laminating discount coupons for SASA retail outlets.

Think the office probably requires me to use up 11 x 31 sheets of laminating sheets.. (and i sneakily went to laminate my wallet pictures too.. *BIG Grins. This is the plus point of sitting aimlessly in office... SHhhhh...)

And now that my two marketing in charge are out of my sight (and i half suspect they took half day off..) i am left to myself.. in the wide expanse of a rm, typing my blog entries.. i think i half felt as if i am the CEO.. with a big black armchair with arm rests, fully air-conditioned big rm (temp just nice), No one at my beck and call... (grins) and what else.. hm a big kitchen pantry with just abt everything i need for tea.. and wow.. 2 cupboard-full of magazines for me to read...

Hm.. what more can i ask for? So all the above is really consolatory for my 5.5 bucks per hour till i say tata to them on the 9th june... WHeeeeeeeee....!

And after flipping thru so many local and Hk magazines to scout for SASA advertisements, i realise that all mags, say 90%, have columns solely dedicated to sex talk.. and now i wonder why do people still lament that Singapore has a poor scope for sex education.. *muse.. I guess those who r real keen, just need to brush up on their research skills... (>_<)

*Cheers to more slacking jobs!*

Awwww.. sweets!

2006-05-24T17:01:00.000+08:00

Found this ad in one of the magazines i was browsing thru at/for work.
(haha.. i swear i aint skiving..Grins)
*life is getting sweeter. Fantastic candies**~~~~~
*Drools. (>_<) 100% Kawaii!!

*Drool factor 2..
*Smackalicious dish
sob factor: found only in Hong kong..
(Ps: i must be going prawning in the near future!! i must use the above pic as my point of culinary reference..)
Hands up for guinea pigs to try my dish?
^o^

*Expensive No Nos...*

shoot.. and why r expensive bags so ~~ex..???!!!~~nope.. ugly.. *oops..(o and they happen to be from Gucc* Hk) (-___________-!)
=P

lollipop perfume..

2006-05-23T16:23:00.000+08:00

*Found the above picture while i was arranging the folders in Sasa Hr office.. real cool.. i dint know they have that product.. Chupa Chups Perfume.. *Drools..
the above really looks smacking delicious! i wonder how nice it might be if it is a perfume.. hm hm.. maybe i can buy it as a bdae gift for my friend upcoming bdae in June.

And thanks to Sharon.. who manages to research for a good Mtv dance class at a gd location near our homes.. grins..

The details:

MODERN LIVING - DANCE MTV

@ YUHUA CC (in b/w jurong east n chinese garden mrt statn- feeder bus)

14/06/2006 - 02/08/2006 (8 sessions)

Wednesday, ?8:30 PM - 9:30 PM

$90 (non-member)

Participants will learn basic Pop, R and B, Latino and Funk moves. The trainer will teach you the coolest and grooviest dance moves which are bound to impress your peers.

MTV Dance -R&B Hip Hop is the "modern soul-base rhythm & blues of the 70's that have changed to the present "mtv style" music, popularly known as r & b. you can also dance to song by beyonce alicia key. you'll learna set routine for beginner and others. casual street wear & jogging shoes.

I really am keen to take that up.. qian hui and sharon still up for it? (>o<)
Anyone wana learn too? =)

new skin.

2006-05-23T14:42:00.000+08:00

i am really sprightly!
it feels like a new hair cut for my blog.. >_<
lurve it sooo much....

happy burfday to u... =)

2006-05-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

祝你生日快乐，

祝你生日快乐，

祝你生日快乐，

祝你生日快乐（。。。）

hapi burfday to Mr Ooi, the one who always ducks my camera.
(*grins)

clear blue.

2006-05-18T20:05:00.000+08:00

*grins.
Today was a bundle of anxiety, worry, and ultimately, unfounded fears and cleared-up butterflies in the stomachs.
>_<
Hugs to my dear fren, S.
=)

office girl's blues. + someth nice for all of u.. @ the end. =)

2006-05-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

hahahahha!
I am getting my bout of happiness back after suffering from slight blues these 2 days.. But all's well and ignore my previous postings.. kinda depressing. =P

i chanced upon this in hx's blog, who got it from her friend's blog.

This the 1st time i am truly able to experience the true spirit of the chinese language and the power of "alt + shift".. Thank you SHI Fu!!

Wrong.. must put skills into use.

谢谢你，猪师夫！！！

(*ps: if u cant read the chinese stuff... go to "view", choose "encoding", then click on "uni code". >.
>_<

cos' the nice excerpt can only be best appreciated in chinese..

Very very meaningful... and i did learn a lesson or two.

Hm but before i show u guys what the nice poem is all about, leme shed some pictures on my new work place...

number one criminal that cause me a heavy flu!!!!@$@%$^#%#%#T#^T#^#^%#^#T#$

SEE that Dust stuck in bwt the keys????!!!!!!!
ARGH!
But lucky that wasn't the keyboard i used... i used a laptop.. but the stupid dusty keyboard was so near my nose.. i think i start sneezing the minute during my first day of work...

i almost looked like this:

*REd-Nose*
the whole office probably heard my sneezing, snorting and whatever. but qianhui told me that i am dramatising the whole scene in my mind.. haha. -__-"

An unused fax machine (or so i think) is the number 2 dust killer collector!

i vow to kill em all!

(1.. ok.. hee lucky i dun need to wear that formal to work in Sasa headquarter office... keke..
2..lucky that isnt my pile of work to clear!.. >_<
3....i am eating HACKS ("Ah pek/Cek) sweet cos of the stupid flu on the 16th.. @$%#^%^%$^$^$^%$^^$&$&$^&%$&&^)Panadol to combat all signs of deathly cold and... lip balm is a must to moisturise the chapped lips in fully blasting air con rm...
4...hm hm.. notice the toilet roll.. i think i almost used finish one roll due to my flu.. *keke..)

ok.. so my daily stuff aside and hope u enjoyed the short excursion @ a typical dusty office..

here is the fat chicken main course to serve u guys.. u will love it.. but caution.. its a bit long.. but def worth ur read/time... Cos tis' is by far the best thing i ever read.. abt jus how to make 爱情完美。really, really read and savour every word.. it is so really, really, meaningful...it put MYDS (is that how u spell?! hee nvm) to shame.

Quoted and Extracted from Hx's blog (copyright reserved):

你发觉了吗？

爱的感觉总是在一开始时甜蜜，总觉得多了一个人陪，多了一个人帮你分担，你终于不再孤单了，因为至少有一个人想着你、恋着你，只要能在一起就是好的。

但是慢慢地，随着认识的加深，

你开始发现了对方的缺点，
于是问题一个接一个出现，你开始烦、累，

甚至想要逃避，

有人说爱情就像捡石，总想捡到一个适合自己的，

但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？

她适合你，那你又适合她吗？

其实，爱情应该像磨石子儿，或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么满意，

但是请记住，人是有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，

只要你有心，有勇气，与其到处去捡未知的石头，还不如将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨光，

你开始磨了吗？
很多人以为，是因为感情淡了，人才会变得懒惰，

其实人是先被惰性征服，感惰才慢慢变淡的。

在某个聚餐的场合，有人提议多吃点虾对身体好，这时候有个中年男人忽然说：“十年前，当我老婆还是我女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她。现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，简直就是开玩笑，我连帮她夹菜都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳呢。”

难怪越来越多的人只想谈一辈子恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。

如果每个人都懒得讲话，懒得倾听，懒得制造惊喜，懒得温柔体贴，那么夫妻之间，又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？

所以请记住，有活力的爱情是需要适度殷勤来灌溉的，谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的。

有一对情侣，相约下班后去用餐，逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议延误了，当她冒雨赶到时候已经迟到了30多分钟，她男朋友很不高兴地说：“你每次都这样，现在我什么心情也没了，我以后再也不会等你了！”刹那间，女孩的心决堤崩溃了，她在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了。

同样，在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境，女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，她的男朋友说：“我想你一定忙坏了吧？”接着他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套披在女孩身上，此刻，女孩流泪却是温馨幸福的。

你体会到了吗？其实爱恨往往只在我们的一念之间！

爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，很多事可能只是在于你心境的转变罢了。

如果有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错，那并不代表你会选择他。

我们总说：“我要找一个很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。”但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。可是后来，当我们猛然回首，才发觉自己曾经多么天真。

假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？

其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之后才会发现的。

每个人都希望找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，但是你有没有想过，在你身边早有人对你默默付出很久了，只是你没有发觉而已。所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧，他或许已经等你很久了。

当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。

所有的期待和希望都只有七八分，剩下两三分用来爱自己。

如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能给对方造成沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

所以请记住，喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分。

如果你正在为爱迷惘，下面这段话或许可以给你一些启示：

爱一个人，要了解也要开解；

要道歉也要道谢；

要认错也要改错；

要体贴也要体谅；

是接受而不是忍受；

是宽容而不是纵容；

是支持而不是支配；

是慰问而不是质问；

是倾诉而不是控诉；

是难忘而不是遗忘；

是彼此交流而不是凡事交代；

是为对方默默祈求而不向对方诸多要求。

可以浪漫，但不要浪费，

不要随便牵手，更不要随便放手
(*muse.. i think the last line is so honest.. *glistening eyes..*)
>_<

not being silly + what's that u r striving to be

2006-05-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

cos, if i nv pen down weird and unfathomable ramblings, means my happy and wacko self is back.

So i am in to jot down some random scribbles of today.

For one, if u take a step to ponder, no one really knows himself well, lest he is a genius, and only, conscious of his current actions at that moment. (or maybe, a genius is the last person in the world to knw himself the best cos' half of the time, he is a crazy fellow in the mind.)

Quite a relevation though sometimes i know i am this and not:

1) i dunt have that appetite for sunny-side ups. i eat the white and not the yolk.

2)i prefered salted duck egg cos they r hard boiled, and slightly, looks more edibly appealing.

3) i like to lie on my bed and wake up late recently.

4) i like to run, but recently not cos i am just too caught up with the monotony of life, and holiday job soon to come.

5) and always, trapped in my own melody of excuses that i spun for myself (isn't everyone so?)

6)i really like to put in work and achieve things that are not easy to come by, so that at the end of the route, i never forget the beginning and really, glad that i can walk this far with someone else equally as certain.

7)i have never been as certain of myself and thoughts, except at this moment, this time, and when i am not being emotional.

8)maybe that's why robots are so efficient.

9) n maybe, dun like anyone to remind me i am lazy when i knw i am. or that i need to be sporty cos that person who ascribe to be sporty, might pass discriminatory glances on ppl who slack too much and aspire to be couch potatoes. Cos i believe even couch potatoes should have their fair share of respect.

(*i just observed recently from my close human onservations that all of us, are all striking to be aspired role models. Some craves to be sporty, or beautiful, or tanned, or more confident, or more eloquent, or more deserving to be treated better with more respect.. but all in the name of what exact? Is it to place recgonition that i have lived and breathed before?)

So i guess i i am half rational, half irrational; half pragmatic, half dreamy; half warm, half cold; half myself, half not myself, half realistic; half cynical. i am just half of everything. and everyone perhaps is.

Then today, i am really glad, just like every other day, like any other average singaporeans whereby pathetic shopping in enclosed shopping areas called Orchard Road gives us the cheap thrills of cosmopolitan life:

~ i found a decent, or rather more than decent bdae gift for one of my strawberry elfin 21st, and all within the group budget in not more than 2 hours. i think. Amazing feat and i am sure she will love it!

And maybe after knowing me thru all the blogs that i have entered, i am someone who ascribes to be sunny and gay, to be happy and glad always.. in the name of what do i do that for? It's definitely not a hypocritical mask that i might be wearing cos one can discern the true laughter radiating when one is at ease with the ppl one is comfortable with.

Just like u might ascribe to be one good saviour, one good friend, one good bf/gf/husband/wife, we are all ascribing to be something, which are perhaps, just a dream amibition that we want to grasp before we live this mortal world. Ok i swear this is not a morbid comment and neither is that a Freudian influence, but snippets of my random thoughts.

Dont mind me sometimes.

poet-less.

2006-05-14T00:10:00.000+08:00

I am facing my four walls again,
It’s the same thing all over again.

I am looking for the one thing that I don’t know what I am searching for.

It’s just so wry.

I am facing the exact screen,
Looking at the same predicament that unfolds.

And if my soul can speak,
It is speaking to a long vessel of emptiness.

And nights like these,
I am just hit with unexplained moods of melancholy.

Hope-the rising sun of inspirational strength.

2006-05-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

"There are many worlds,
But they share the same sky,
One sky."

I think sometimes you just want to be left alone,
And other times, you just can't stand being alone.
It's just so ironic that in the exact space which you stood, you can experience composite and paradoxical feelings all at once.
Due to differing temporality, the yellow bear and the orange stripped softtoys can give different expressions to humane emotions, just because of the flux of time that takes place.

I have a friend who told me her story.
Everyday after work, she comes home to an empty house.
And that, days like these, seems unbearably long and tedious.
The house was just keeping its silence,
And it makes her more painfully obvious of the need to keep her mind working instead of letting the silence take over.
She cries sometimes,
And her story just leave her listeners subdued.

And precisely,it is these situations like this that makes me more acutely aware of the limits of mine humane capabilities.
If a listening ear was all she needed to erase her pain away,
Why was her friend at the other side of the phone, so clueless and pained?
Maybe cos' sometimes being a friend, is simply, just being a friend.

So i told her of a little story of my own.
That when the world comes crushing down on her,
Saying a little prayer might just work.
So, i asked if she believe in something call God, or whatever Gods that she might subcribed to.
My this friend said,
She wasn't a religious person
but that whenever she is down, she does mutter some SOS help to a "God".

I really hope it is not some fairy-tale that i spunned to keep 3 year old kids at bay.
Cos' i know she is not.
In times like this,
Belief can be so utterly unbreakable.
So i said,
Say a little prayer before you sleep.
Tell the god that she may believe in,
All her little troubles.
And deeply, i believed that her prayers would be answered.

And though my tears dry up long ago in exact replicas of her situations,
i tried my best to understand.
And today, i realise that true to the words - humans are indeed emotional creatures.
Likr a domino effect,
one simple tile can upset the whole chain of perspectives.

When it feels like your dreams are so far,
u echo the plans all over, and over again.
But when the world seems too much to take,
run.. and run away.

So on good days, i think the world can be so funny and gay.
And i write happy and funny stories.
but on seemingly bad days,
it's inevitable that you witness pain, sorrows, grief and very real tears.
And maybe, the idea of a painful separation.

And i told another friend that it's so weird when you compare yourself to a younger person.
The Former will often count how many happy days he has left,
And he is more able to feel the excruciating short moments of happiness.
The latter will often laugh merrily, and will only forget the small sadness.

It's so weird, so weird,
That when one starts to age,
one realise the truism of reality, that is all too real,
That pain can really hurt so much.
That death, can really happen to any household, on any day.
That separation can really become sudden, and without any warning.
That happiness, is really a countable noun.
That because of all this little sadness,
These can really bitter all of us with so much gale, and doubt.
That these, can really make us all lose foothold in something as simple as trust.

I really hope one day,
It is not the birth of any Superidols that can save the world.
But that a philosopher can be resurrected to give us rising hopes of just,
of love,
of trust,
and simply...
Of cherishing the simple.

"This painting shows a fireman pointing to the hope that he sees in the clouds of light. He is encouraging the person on their knees to turn away from their overwhelming despair and to look to the hope that we have in Jesus Christ through the cross, the symbol of victory of death and evil. (Titus 2:13-14)

Lying in the debris is a teddy bear that represents so many families and children that have been devastated, but praise God he bears our sorrow and grief with us. (Isaiah 53:3-6)

In the face of God you can see the tear, may this painting inspire many to look to the One and only Hope that we have."
*************************************************************************************

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.
*************************************************************************************

hot and SssssssssssssiZzling.

2006-05-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

It's not the arid dry hot days in singapore that sets u burning and writhing in frenzy...

Neither is there any bikini hot babes prancing around in my blog...

Now.. don't go disappointed on me will you?

*Grins*.

I caught snippets on tv, of a lady munching on 7 (SEVEN!!!) Raw chili..And yes, all in our heartland Singapore.
Seeing that, i took a sideway glance at my Ah-ma... She seems to pale in comparison and the sudden trophy of Chili Queen doesn't seem that fantastic on a 84 year-old lady anymore. =P

So What are the health benefits of Chilli? i did a short research and this is what i found.

First and foremost...INTRODUCING THE SUBJECT:

*

CHILI GALORE!*

Accordin to CalorieKing.com,

Chili has such benefits:
1)Helps decongest when you are feeling stuffed up-meaning unblock a blocked nose through its sharp stimulant...
And this is good cos... it really clears away all your unwanted and nagging mucus.

2)Reduce blood Cholesterol

3)Helps formulate blood clots

And research have shown that regular chili-eaters does have lower risks of heart attacks and stroke....

Fantastic isn't it...

And tips for selecting good chilis:

*Firm and Taut skin... (*So even Miss Chili goes for BOTOx...)

But don't overeat them now you have a general sense of how good Chili can be for you...

Cos' you just don't want to end up like this guy...

*It's so totally unsexy.*

m.MI3 ((May Movies Influx 3)

2006-05-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

Read: is "not me3"...
*LOLs..dear was quite cute when i sent him an sms today asking him if he wana join my friends for movie.

And that's the problem with acroynms..Cos' they are never internationally recgonised.

Any why this movie and the hype about it?

1) The advertisement for it is simply, truly everywhere.

Then, reason number one for me is that there is an asian hot babe/siren, Maggie Q.

*super idol kind with looks to kill, bod to die for and the sleekiest legs well toned. Wow factor number 1.Second.. it's this hot lambourgini.

The other extraneous factors..

*Hot kisses...*

and of cos.. explosive actions..

And Cruise still looks hot for his age.. and the co-star acting as his gf, does look like Katie Holmes. hm hm hm.

One thing i am awed most was by his running speed.. he does run very fast and i don't think that got anything to do with computer effects.. wish i could run like that... i might fly up if i run like that kinda speed...

Which makes me dream.. i might just win the 5km women's run which sharon mentioned to me just now... yaya.. if only Ethan gave me some of his agility and speed. =P

Mi3, gd catch. Except it was kinda silly when you realise that a rabbit's foot was all it took for Ethan to race from his country all the way to shanghai.

Things which struck me as bizzare:
~Asians (except "zhen" acted by Q cos' she is of a mixed polish-irish-american heritage anyways, plus the fact she used to date heartthrob Daniel Wu!)are definitely portrayed as backward, weird, and defenseless. "Laidback" is not the word that describes them smoking carelessly in the insidous rooms. It was more like "sleazy" and one can't help but get away from that yucky place.

~Failed attempt at giving the story a twist. Though i must say "Morpheus" still look like morpheus cos' he can't get away from his acting shadows in Matrix. He still doesn't haf that bad guy look.

~Tragic bombing of the lambourgini....*Sobs sobs

hm hm hm.. next movie to aim for is...

*Over the Hedge*

Adooooooooooooooorableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

*Muacks.*~

take the bait.

2006-05-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

a day at fishing prawn yesterday with my dad..
and he commented that English is so weird.

"Why can't we used prawning since people used fishing? And why must they say prawn fishing?" Says my cute Dad.

And cute me answers " i think prawning can be used.."

And anyways, i think no one cares anyway with slangs.

*Dad at work*

*slacking is me*

Which makes me think.. hm.. i manage to clinch a mini lobster prawn while examining my slippers...

then that nottie prawn snapped my dad's finger while he was unhooking... (*cos i am kinda freaked out when i am required to unhook the hook...The prawn got big eyes suddenly..hm hm hm )

So punishment for the prawn...
*EVIL GRINS>>>>>>>

*We STEAMED it till it turned orange...

Evils...

*We murdered the rest of its' clan....

hahaha >_<

And the catch of the day stands at 42 (10 contributed by cute little me..Grins Grins..)

*!!!!!!tink tink tink!!!!*

And then.. i looked at the aquarium prawns in my own house...

(*They quivered in fear.. thinking if they would be steamed anytime soon....)

(>_<)

(*side notes of my day:
tornado....love....waves.
another sad song of the day.
this is gibberish.
and if it comes too fast and too soon, or comes too late, it comes and go anyways.
like the wind, like the sand, it washes away.
With salt, with rain, with the sea spray.
i was in the mood to upload some crappy love sad mv.. but i guess jay's ones, or rather those that were uploaded in *youtube looks kinda crappy with the pixated stuff.. arghs. And anyway, it is still better to think abt sunny skies and clouds.)

hidden.

2006-05-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

If I am a wolf,
Then I am running hidden in my own barracks.
It's not worth knowing what you are fighting for,
Much less to realize what you are fighting against all this while.

Everything in these days seem severely endless,
And more relentless as the storm rages on.
We have people talking on tv everyday,
And the most is the least that we have caught on to.

This heavy cloak of ignorance stems from the unconscious.
And the subconscious,
Is the vein by which the sentences of mine flow.
And I have no conscious in knowing these lines I typed.

In days like this,
You wake up with no fresh memory of the days before.
Every single movements is mechanized,
And you just wonder silently why.

legs that talk.

2006-05-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

and legs that misbehave.

My legs jumped out too fast when i heard the "tooting" of the mrt train's door, signalling that it is going to close shut any time soon.

So i looked back at xr and dl, telling em' "hey hurryyyy...."

and such fast reaction displayed by a single agility, at leaping out of the Singapore trains, and causing me to look back at dismay as the two of them were closed behind the departing train.

Hm that was a raffles hall and so, we waited for a few more minutes for the threesome to gather and continue on our treacherous journey to our spreeeeeeeeeee.

Argh.

haa but that little mistake miscontrued my whole identity and further reinforce that hey, maybe i am really made for a hiphop dancer.

(-___-")

haha dunt mind me and my little crazy tots after exams.

i am just that little bit crazy, just that little estatic.

shopping serves to lift up the little serene mind of mine, up just a few notches.

Then a half day of it, leaves me deflated and plummeted onto ground zero and all i yearn was the comfort of my bed, under the covers, and snuggling under a little warmth. that's a little bit like playing my own game of hide and seek and escaping disclosure of myself.

if i got more than 24 hours per day,

i want to master some culinary skills. Such as baking good chocs (as what my fren LC is doing and SELLING--> man, that must be some decent chocs!)

then learn some knitting,

then do some charitable stuff such as visiting old folks home and feeding them.. plus to the zoo to do some voluntary work (cleaning up animals' poo is strictly exclusive!)

think again, i will probably invest em all in slumber-land.

And i am again, hideously gross out by my recent ramblings about my monotonous life thru' facing the four corners and gaining spiritual uplifting to my room ceiling, through chantings of sociology notes.

Thankfully, i am out of that weird phase today, finally.

I am expired on 2may'05 from mugging and back to the crazy nut i always been.

i love life.

And the "flasher coat" coined by xr and dl. I don't love it as much. hm hm hm.
>_<

And.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANLIN!

muacks. stay cheerful and bubbly as always. >_<

snippets of my life 2

2006-04-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

A second mini-break before i announce that i am gona retire into my world...

new baby orchids--> romantic gift from my dad to my mum, so as to bring in prosperity for her, and let her win more lottery a.k.a 4D.

(-_________________-")

haha.

the next one is really cute.

My cute little "xiao man tou".... love her sooo much..

*niece baby ellie*

Hm and did i tell you that i am gona be an aunt again? *Grins.
Wonder the new baby would be a nephew or niece...

>_<

Little bundles of joy that light up my life.

Surprise!

2006-04-29T16:33:00.000+08:00

In the midst of taking a short noon break... here is what i have come up with.

The battle of the sexes

Act cute contest 2

>_< *evil grins

hm hm hm.. looks like someone is going to come looking for me about copyright fees...
=P

Ohayooooo Gozaimatsu!

2006-04-28T07:09:00.000+08:00

ok if my blog is a cyber rendition of the chinese show "zao an, ning hao!", my title will be "morning, hope u r gd!"

(-_______________________________-!)

grins.

my entries are getting earlier and done in a whizz in the daylight, and i am dawn with this relevation, after so many years of life that healthier means sleeping earlier (by 12am) and waking earlier (say around 6am). Try this for one day, and you will feel that the skies are beautiful.

Hmmm.. this may sound so insane, cheesy and ridiculous and it's ok if you switch to other blog entries. Cos' i can imagine all those poor little souls studying in the morning session, cursing the skies and falling asleep while singing the national athem. The last time i woke up at dawn was during JC and that was quite a while... hm hm hm.

I wonder how is Miss Lai and Miss Latimer. The last time i heard abt the latter who was my lit teacher, was that she got cervical cancer, in the terminal stage. Now, that's not so nice a news to break in the early morning where all the birds are singing. I wonder if she is still alive... Anyway, hope all good, ends good and maybe in such cases, ignorance is bliss cos if i were to know where she actually is now, i might be sad for a while and can only remembered her as a past allegory.

I can't wait to achieve these things soon.

I still have 3 more papers to slaughter.

Besides that, one more thing to achieve in my life is to extract both my bottom wisdom teeth.

Find work and be a slave to the exploitation of the labour economy unless i find a way to cheat them to giving me a $4000 pay check for just one mth and i can slack for the remaining 2 mths.

Finish an elementary hip-hop dance class by this holiday and move on to salsa during the midst of my third year. So qianhui, wait for me and sharon! keke.

analysis:

ok, slaughtering papers are not too tough.

extracting wisdom is kinda excruciating. Not to mention bloody but i will try to get use to it for that time. Eatig congee is the not so nice part of all.

Finding good work depends on the fortuitous, the lucky.

hip-hop can be good exercise.

And speaking of luck/bad luck:

Lucky

Finding a penny on heads
Horseshoes
Four-leaf clovers
Rabbit's feet
Ladybugs
Elephant with the trunk pointing up
The number seven.
(*Wow i dint know ladybirds are lucky creature.. bless their partners! =P)

Unlucky

Friday the 13th.
The number 13 (Many buildings skipped 13 when numbering their floors for this reason)
Black cat crossing your path
Stepping on a crack (it breaks the back of the stepper's mother)
Breaking a mirror (seven years bad luck)
Spilling over salt (but you can get rid of the bad luck by throwing the salt over your left shoulder, supposedly the devil sits there. It is also said to be unlucky if you throw salt over your right shoulder, since supposedly an angel sits there).
Putting a hat on a bed
Opening an umbrella indoors
Seeing three butterflies at the same time
Killing a ladybug
Walking underneath a ladder (when being hanged, the condemned man would often be made to pass underneath a ladder before climing it and onto the gallows)

(*# butterflies isnt that beautiful yet eerie.. hmmm, hm hm hm, dint know an angel sits on my right!)

bear dance

2006-04-25T14:13:00.000+08:00

saw the steps in the mv?

*************************************************************************************
BEAR DANCE COMPETITION

Interested participants, please send your resume to the flooble chat board under "WHISPER".

Master the bear dance step and you have high chances of winning...

a flight for two to Europe!

(*heh..just kidding..*Grins)

my first... =P

2006-04-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

1st paper tmr!

(*now now... what were you guys thinking of?? *grins.)

may all the cosmos and the stars and whatever wish me all the luck. I need more donations of brain cells if possible. =)

24th --------------------------------------------------->2may

9 days...................am i will be unleashed!

Before i get too excited and head over heels, i must first write down what i am dying to do after i am freed. If not, my mind will run astray even when i am studying.

So here i am, pening down all my frivalous thoughts:

After exams,this little cheeky girl is going to...

1)scare the wits/hell outa of her friends by jumping behidn their backs and saying "BOOOOO!"

2)Collect funds from nus click to buy Sab's prezzie.

3)Plan Singing session

4)Plan Shopping spree and Girls' Night out. (6May MTV ASIAN AWARDS Starring RAIN! Sharon, we all crash ur hse ya!)

5)Plan a mambo night and get many many ppl to go.

6)Find Work.

7)Disturb more friends by planning meet-ups.

8)Check for upcoming birthdays in the month of May, June and July.

9)Research for hiphop dance class and sign up for a slot

10) Practise the dance steps at home and finally july, be a thai girl!

Sweet Sweet Holidays...... *Drools...*

(Ps: THANK YOU x.h.z. for the ingenius idea at chasing away my wakefulness and pangs of insomia..>_< xie xie ni.. *Hugs).

i m not humming my tune these days.

2006-04-21T16:13:00.000+08:00

I am writing stuff and updating my entries in some obscenely weird hours such as say 4plus in the noon, where my mind is all awry and my humour running wry.

It's just outta my normal sleep cycle to pin down all my thoughts in a single day, and shoot em' down on a hot afternoon.

I looked out of my window and all i saw was a bright afternoon. The birds are chirping melodiously and and for a moment, i am beguiled to think that the clouds are swaying to the tunes as well.

I just hate to be tied down to a desk full of wisdom written by dead people.

And honestly, i think they do haunt me in my sleep.

Last week, were ludicrious dreams such as jackie chan and the ex-duo, twins.

Guess this week was dreamless nights filled with ample tossings.

i used to be the envy of my friends for one thing: that is to be able to fall asleep the minute i hit my bed. and...

1) No nightmares,

2)No tossing,
til the break of dawn.

But these days, i need to toss like a bread for 2 hours before saying i hit dreamland. And yesterday i encountered the weirdest stuff. I am dreaming, yet i am not sleeping. I am really, going against the call of nature.

I wish not to be a loser to say that i am stressed by exams, cos' it's like the number one killer in Singapore. For the very first thing, i don't wish history to repeat itself whereby stress used to cause my hair to drop. That really kinda sucks.
So my therapy is dont be stress and read my notes as if they were bedtime stories.

And Boy, i am reaching nirvana. i dun even fall asleep at such boring stuff.

Read sy's blog abt his newest gadget, the rich dad book.

Sometimes i wish my dad was darn filthy rich, then he can teach me to be more shrewd. A much needed weapon in the world today. But then, i guess my dad is shrewd enuff and i guess, i did inherit some of that genes, sometimes.
So i guess, i still love my dad for the way he is, still. And i am looking forward to catching prawns with him.

Speaking of my dad, he told me some shrewd stuff, which was mildly intelligent, but a golden rule of thumb that girls are born with. That is "guys' words are not to be believed". haha. And i looked at my dad, and i understood the truism of that statement. The true cassanova speech. *LOLS.

Maybe Shrewd does contain some negative connortations, not until you check www.thefreedictionary.com and you realise that it's not too bad to be shrewd, esp if it teaches one to be on his/her guards against cheaters and conman.

And I hope *Scum reads my blog, the previous entry on "Scums." It's dedicated to him anyways. And with that, i pray that all my girlfriends will be given this gift of SHREWD-NESS to defend themselves against SCUMS at all times.

Seriously and honestly, it takes a lot of restraint for ppl not to give him his warranted slaps, punches and kicks in his groin.

Firstly, i don't like people messing up my life, much less to say to my friends.

Why: Because i had it with scums, jerks, a**ho**s, jacka**, and whatever scumbag names you can call em'.

I detest them with a fervence. They are like vermins.

And i dun't understand why *Scum, yes you, can appear forever nice and smiling when inside, you are rotting so convulsively that can make everyone in the whole universe puke their last night's dinner out.

*rolls eyes.

You can go on in your wayward ways, being vicious and mean, but do know that,
"Do not do unto others what you wont want them to do unto you".

The karmic cycle of the buddhism is certainly not a hoax.

scums.

2006-04-20T12:52:00.000+08:00

i jus wonder why some guys in the world deserve to have the living space.

They are just taking up the space, and wasting the resources.

Firstly, who are the guys who fall into this category?

1) Cheats
They deserve to be burn at stake. They cheat girls. Worsest scums of all.

2)Wolf in sheep clothings
Always appear smiling and friendly, but just a stupid little cheap thing.

3)liars.
They can open their eyes wide in innocence, and proclaim to two different girls that he love her for eternity. (like he will, for he will perish in hell anyways.)

4) Some girls who know they r meddling with someone else's bf
These are the girls who are not much better than scums and deserve to be buried together with that one guys who fits into all 3 categories.

Arghhh!

*I just feel so much angst with this stupid one scum who messed up my friend.*
He is just one scum who can defame the name of all good guys and simultaneously make all good girls lose faith in the male species. So guys and girls, dont you think such a guy deserves to be put down in this world?

Hands up please.

the stupidity of it all.

2006-04-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

The stupidity of fingernails is that they scratch you, involuntarily.
Scrutinising my current nails, the length of em' states that they gladly belong to the category, called "relatively short to be kept in place".

So in the haste of scurrying out of my door today to accompany my mum and babi ellie to the outdoors, i scratched my tummy while changing my top.

(-_-")

Maybe as i compared my skin condition to those of a baby's, i am mildly worried that the little scratch might cause a slight scar (healing process takes longer for an adult than a toddler). But then, a mild scratch won't leave scars, only in the mind of my little vainpot brain.

So thats the most interesting phenomenon of my day today.

The best highlight.

And i am feeling a little bit sorry that i din't skydived today (like it is gona happen in a million light years). ;)

i love ky!

2006-04-15T22:22:00.000+08:00

Hmm tell me will they make me eligible for the progressive package if i shed massive adoration letters for the p.a.p?

or for that instance, dedicating this minute's entry to l.k.y?

Grins.

I caught half the segment of the repeated telecast of the talk show with mr L.

Was really an enthralling experience... And it's weird that me, aw qin yi and sometimes known to my other friends as veronica, to be captivated by some talk show that is minimally related to the political arena.

Thru the talkshow with some journalists, one pointed out the possible apolitical situation that might arise if the government ruled out compulsory ruling. That is, fewer people would vote, maybe say only 20% of the singaporean populace at large? And what has our dear old fren got to say?

According to him, the predicted stats whereby fewer ppl vote need not indicate a lack of interest in politics, (a journalist pointed out that some university students did not know/hear the name l.k.y b4?!!!--> with that, i might say that the female journalist must have collected skewed data whereby she probably interviewed china p.r. students. *rolls eyes) but a indication of a rise in comfort living.

I think our dear paternal figure is so smart.

Impression of him as arrogant is best summed up is this lady's quesions (*maybe it is best she prepares her homework before attending a major show such as this):

"There is this impression that the p.a.p is arrogant".

*Major form of this phenomenon at the comfort of ur couch, if you just happen to watch snippets of this segment, called "Major-Rolling-of-eyes-at-bombotic-ladies".

then k.y says this very original statement which just creates and echoes this universal smirks on our faces when we are watching in the safety of our ominscient tv. (*For one thing, we know we won't be shoot down if we say this kinda to the k.y on our plasma screens.)

"If i am arrogant, do you think i would be talking to u?"

Amazing.

For the very first thing, i wonder why that poor lady managed to screw herself up on national tv by posing such a form of question, whereby the truth can never be validated but by an affirmative fact that she will be so shoot at.

Secondly, i think this "arrogance impression" is seamlessly woven into the conscience of most singaporeans' minds by "viral marketing" (word-of-mouth) and media coverage with no brains.

Being famous and busy at managing singapore's politics does indeed have its fair share of household notoriety.

if my blog gets famous, will my adversary say i am arrogant too? *muse..

And if you want a nice and concise and salient definition on the word "politics", check out the American something version dict, as what our longest and dearest paternal fren recommends.

Politics: it is the arena of LIFE, constituting the internal and external areas which are relevant to us. They can be in the form of family, children, education, and future.

In short, as mr L summed up, Politics = life.

at this juncture, i am perhaps as much as a passive agent subjugated to the powers of mass media brain-washing, just as anyone else who might be apolitcal.

I think being a politician does have its fair share of woes, but major share of explanatory stuff to do in making the society at large understand their "good intentions".

The worst occupation in terms of earlier hair-greying/whitening, or premature balding: politicians.

So, though this little me really do not profess to have a high epistemology on politics, would like to say praise to the slogging ministers that brings us to where we are today.

*Attention! *Raises right hand to right part of forehead, at 45 degree*

Salutes!*

*march! left/ right left/right left/right...

*tottering off...

screwed.

2006-04-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

These few days as i was roaming aimlessly in msn, i noticed something strange.

Two of my msn friends put their nicks "I am screwed/ i am soooo screwed".

Which makes me wonder why would anyone want to publisized their private lives out in such manner... >_<

*stucks out tongue* haha.

Observations aside, and these are by far, the most bizzare happenings on my msn! =P

"Reuters".

Bunnies.

2006-04-13T21:07:00.000+08:00

Yeah!
Tmr is Easter!
Hm.. but given the fact that i don't celebrate, it seems that i am the person with the least position to be gleeful about.

But any public holiday is still worth deserving its fair bit of praise.

The first thing when i tot abt easter was those speckled chocolate eggs in foils. They look not delicious but superbly sweet. And who can resist things that look sweet and Kawaii? >_<

My throat is aching soon and this is like a century since i had lose my voice due to massive raising by several notches. The last time i recalled was during those camp days whereby i need to shout cheers out to express my group patriotism.

Ah and those were the days. And it's so fast that i am an adult already. When all i could recall was the first day when i was just 13, in my new starchy turquoise skirt (over my knees =P) and white ironed shirt.

hm.. i wonder what is the sweetest things i can conjure for a sweet fren of mine who is hitting 21 soon..

any ideas, anyone??

munching on a 473ml of ice cream (tub)

2006-04-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

now tell me, is that a better way to get some pounds of fat into my system then?
>_<

Once i start, i can't stop.(not really)

Just wondering it is possible for me to finish a tub of haagan daz cookies and cream at this moment. Hm anyway it's not like 1 litre of cream or someth.. haha it will be my bestest gift if i see some new meat the next morn when all those cream reside somewhere in my system.

Hmmmm though very much i wish to, my appetite is always very disciplined. Mayb the cream was too cold for my tongue, or maybe, i am just not the kind who will still continue eating when i am full with the average 3 meals and fruits.

I still think ice cream is a delicacy taken on a romantic day- the food of love.

And speaking abt love, i just gotten back my family thesis on romantic love.

Bummer.

I was pretty surprised that i was kinda slightly disappointed that i got a b-. Hm i think if it was the me last time in say sem1/2, i would be like wow, thats pretty not bad. But after analysing my situation, maybe it's cos' i have adjusted my own expectations up.

Think Paulin straughan, the dean and also my family lecturer mentioned that sociology is to sit down under an apple tree and wait for that beacon of light. Think last sem i saw some inkling. Then for the paper, my tutor asked me this qn when i went up to see him abt his comments on my paper.

"Are you a sociology student?"

That bug me a little for today. Cos' he mentioned that my biblio was the one thing that cost me my b-. He said that it would be good if only i had research on sociologial reviews to support my paper. Then i flip thru my biblo and realise ya, he did make sense. my research articles seem to be from stuff like psychology and little bits abt stats.

I wanted to rebuke back and say, what's sociological articles? If we are so entrenched into thinking that there's a sociological thinking in every arenas of life, we can also seive out the sociological thinking even in other articles isn't that so?

Wish i said that, and i really think i would have won my case. But i half suspected that he is the kinda marker that look first into ur bilio and already decide what kinda grades you will get. That's what i dont like. So i must hog the library next sem for good research books.

*what a waste. And To cheer myself up alittle, i played with my niece.

She is my little bundle of joy. In her, i could see myself. Through her, i recalled envisioning one childhood dream of mine: That is to be the little kid/baby of my parents and let Time stays the way it was.

So it seems. If we think things simpler, we have nth to worry abt actually.

So i guess no point brooding abt the b- paper which i tot i might have did better. But it kinda bug arts people especially when sci ppl came and take the same mod, and scored better.

It seems like all your expertise and training grounds to think critically are stripped off you at times like this. And u wonder why r u sitting under an apple tree that drops nought apples but something else.

Therefore, the sociological thinking is to always question the "why" and link it to the social implications. Everything is stemmed from the social, from the cultural. And i must keep reminding myself incessantly that we are not hermits, but very social creatures.

So discarding my bummer paper, it must be the core reason that my appetite at dinner and at devouring the ice cream so futile.

And after days of digging my head at words and microsoft word program and abt the social in the social, i updated myself on my friends' blog.

Hm Thinking abt what sharon said, her perference for guys seems to have changed from those clog in comfy sandals to man in shirts.

hahah...

Man in shirts more charismatic?

hm.. but my insight to that seems to conjure images of those poly guys in shirts when they are doing presentation. That just seems to drive all the mere little charismaticism away... *lols.

My idea of the charismatic guy must be Richard Gere. Downright down-to-earth, comfy in his own skin and just a paternal figure. I just so love his advertisement on the credit card thingy.

And i swear this is not some electra complex that i am suffering. Just that Richard Gere is the one ang mo guy that i can safely say he is so cool. He is the model for cool dads!

And the thing about ideals/expectations.

My lecturer mentioned someth funny today.

"Dissonance arises when you have expectations of an ideal guy and then, you have your own boy waiting for you right after lecture".

haha. her humour is kinda.. witty and i duno hw to say, you will just adore her. She is another maternal figure. It's like you can identify with the wise cracks she is cracking, and not like some loser lectuers who tries to charm you with jokes that you duno that they are funny in the 1st place (and u got to tickle your sides to laugh).

And she continued,

"and you know is a happy marriage when your ideal and the reality matches".

But does it mean you wont have an happily ever after or you wont married cos the reality is different from ur ideal partner...

Oh nooooooo, not at all she says.

But she echoes what most woman will say when interviewed by simple questions such as, "oh is he the one?" " are u guys getting married?"

typical women say, "oh.. (*laughs). wait a while loh.. see how things go first.. (*laughs)".

*Grins. The predicted reactions r so singaporean-like.

It's pretty normal when i asked around my friends if the guy that they are dating is the "right one". And most often than not, they sorta deviate that questions and say something like "it's still too early to tell."

Seriously, i wonder if it is some culture in this modernity. If you realise, a lot of people nowadays are pretty afraid to be certain. And don't you think the inability to ascertain even the most simpler things in our uncertain world, can be even more scarier?

Maybe so many people are scared to commit themselves fully or to even give their heart away for fear that the partner chooses to discard them one day. And this mentality spreads exceptionally fast and perhaps, is more prevalent in the generations after ours, where morality is losing its foothold. Unsafe sex, teenage pregnancies, changing one bf after another in the short expanse of 1 month, one night stands, illicit dancing with strangers in night clubs, or simply wasting their life away..No one can fully trust each other in this game called love.

And that's so scary if even you can't even differentiate what's worthy and what's nought.

i think love is 100% and 200% work. Mathematically, it doesnt work cos everyth shld sums up to 100%. But the socological thinkin will be, "Why must everyth adds up to 100%" (as what my lecturer says again and her husband is a mathematicial.. haha). But i agree that its possible nt all things add up clearly in exact denominations.

Love needs 100% magic for that moment when u set eyes upon each other and create something more than speech.

The first 100% of work is to make that magic last and the remainding 100% of work is to make it continue rolling love-chariot's wheels to the tomorrow that dews.

Amazing rite... and it only dawned on me that if you really love someone, you will try your bestest to make that person happy. But sometimes, human emotions get the best outta u and what happens when things snowball and u see those couples quarelling?

I read somewhere and this is how it goes:" Just remind each other of how you guys love each other in the first place."

(Awwwwwwwwwwwwww....The power of family therapy..)

jackie chan and a shy guy.. ;)

2006-04-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of jackie chan (of all people) yesterday..

and he was performing some car stunts in my dreams...

(-____________-")

me and my fren, belle, in the dream were not much better than stuntmen, if not brillant. we were both sitting together at the front passenger seat, and no one was tending the steering wheel.. ok.. i think my fren was, but she was driving and occassionally stiring the wheel from the passenger seat. Weird huh. So from outside, it looks just as if it was an AUTOMATED car.

oh pls, let me haf a dreamless night whereby no major superstars plague my dreams...PLESSSSSSE!
Its so funny my dreams, esp when i seldom watch any tv lately of any of those people.

But the dreams are so exciting when the stars take you on a joy ride with em.

ya, if only real life was that exciting..

But then, i still prefer reality. its so much clearer, and tangible. And it's really a blessed feeling to be able to wake up every single morning, knowing that you are able to distinguish what's real, and what's not. Fantastic.

Today, i watch Tristen and Isolde with my*camera-shy dear. haha. Hm, and it was still supposed to be my treat this time, you know.. =P
Hm, Romeo juliet is still better.. cos it's the brainchild of Shakespheare afterall. Which reminds me, i wana rewatch that film starring leo dicaprio again after my exams.

*haha this is a stolen quick snap of my camera-shy guy.. still trying to block his face with his drink.. Muse..*

*See.. you never take veggies... beware of constipation.. wahah.*

*Hm.. never finish his pork somemore.. *bish.. =P**

ok, i am back to being a nerd. Studying time!!!!

nightmares recently.

2006-04-06T11:49:00.000+08:00

do u lament if the day was boring, normal or special?

I woke up to a bright new morning and found out that, "hey i prefer the big bright sun to the rainy days, just this day."

cos for one thing, there is no irritating surveyors.

And the second thing, my waking hours is the time whereby all my nightmares are forgotten.

It's so funny these days cos' i keep having some nightmares, which are not those kind whereby the boogeyman is hiding underneath your bed. My nightmares were not so nightmarish as in i would be freaked out,but simply those kinds where ghosts would come alive and talked.

Just this morning, i woke up to a dream of the Twins (Hong kong duo). I was supposedly in a school lecture watching a movie, starring twins, Charlene choi was acting as a nurse who was perceived as others to be mentally insane cos the others dint know she had this prophetic vision of seeing the supernatural. She was shrieking and crying and hiding behind a doctor's back. Then i woke up.

Another hour before this unnightmarish nightmare, i dreamed another dream whereby i became my friend's, Clarice, sorethumb, for missing a lesson when i was supposed to go with her. This one was more nightmarish i thought. Cos it seems so real, but when put against reality check, it's just so silly for it will never happen at our current level of maturity.(*grins)

And i think was 2 weeks ago, i had this dream that i was a ghost-slayer and healer.in that dream, i was assigned with the task of taming this ghost which only has a head. She had long hair. And if i escaped, she would become the most powerful ghost existed in killing all humans.

*Rolls EYES, my dreams are so interesting:killing ghosts. For a moment, i think i might just be Buffy.

Using my pseudo psychological analysis, i think the recent onslaught of nightmares must be due to:
.. hm.. maybe i am just slightly stressed by the coming exams. (which is so unreal again..)

weird today.

2006-04-05T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today, i woke up at 11am.

a phonecall stole some of my minutes as i was trying to get back to sleep till 12pm and head for school. I never tot a two-man job essay on religion could be so tiring...

my dad was whipping up delicious meals today due to the "Ching min" festival i suppose. He picked up the call and handed it to me.

Sorta confused at hearing a foreign voice, i sorta asked bluntly for the identity of that unknown person.

"who are you?" (chinese)

And it was really so funny... it was a fren whom we have lost touch for 7 years. That fren said that my home number was so easy to remember and this morning when that fren woke up, that fren just decided to call and check out hw i was.

freaky weird. it's like you know an angel actually flies in and wish u morning, and sends u free mac-breakfast.

And i did felt a bit bad when that fren filled me in on details of life, right after we stopped speaking to each other after sec 2.

Surprisingly, it wasn't awkard as normal people would feel after so many years of estrangement. (Maybe wr are not normal.. haha. or maybe it's jus not me to feel weird.)
I think i was the one who sorta ended the contact after sec2 and was reflecting to myself if i just had that slight role to play, resulting in my fren's downfall of grades.

ok nvm...

And today, an idiotic surveyor at Imm just manage to brush my bristles when he said i sounded like someone/thing.

And what is weird of today..

i felt that i could recall some incidents of my past life, some hidden memories that i was tucking em safely behind.

This happens when i was listening to a recalled story.

I almost felt like i was back to the space of my own room and wiping off something silent, as they trickled down.

i think i really found back myself all this while.

I really found back some original pieces. Then suddenly, the recollection of events from a third-person account could set off minimal confusion.

If i can forget everything and start some parts of life in another brand new sheet of paper, of another book, written by another author.
i was just deceiving myself sometimes. Argh. i wish i could stop writing.

What is the one thing that could be so easily damaged, supremely fragile and perhaps, easily healed?
Supremely damaged, yet supremely healed within the short scope of time. Maybe it is the power of her mind that teaches her too. or maybe, she was jus tucking em safely again, and feigning ignorance or complete amnesia. Argh. i should be studying psychology to understand myself better at times like this.

new hallmark characters.

2006-04-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

One is pink, and the other is green.

Both are my fave colours... cos the combinations are so clashingly fashionable.

one day, there was Yoyo..

aint he cute?
haha though i tot yoyo was such a feminine name. but i think that shld be his name.

Then here comes Hoops!

they look so cute... actually their nose and eyes were simply adorably idiotic. *Grins

and u wana know the importance of marketing a product?

See the difference? this pic was taken from hallmark.com. Photography skills can make the plushies even more tempting to cuddle and bring home..

*back to my paper! Ganbaru!

my green field, my starlit labyrinth, and my figment.

2006-04-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

Below: the love of a new order.

(*side thoughts: i wish today was not april the 3rd, but april the 2nd.
but then if i think this way, then i will be foregoing the happiness of today and pursuing a past forgetful joy that is already forgotten. The present is still so beautiful. i never want to forget.)

This is my close to ideal kinda healthy green pasture.

Imagine the sun went to sleep, and the moon took over. That is hw my field will look like, when its darker.

And when the moon came, so will all her little elfins.. the bright impish elfins that twinkles all so bright..

And the night is silent, beautiful. All the crickets come out to sing far behind the pasture that you will be lying on. But the songs nv fade away from your ears.

The stars are dancing their own dance, with some fireworks and celebration. Below the party, the world sleeps, in all tranquilty that encompasses the silent world of innocents.

We were all born good.

And that's how we should strive to be. To conjure a paradise on earth, is his own image.

Then one day, i found this:

it was the sweetest thing i nv tot i would have found. I tot my picture was the way it is, unique in its own imperfections, with a broken see-thru peephole. But as i piece the figment together, it was a complete picture. and thereby, echoing in my mental frame, a paradise that is conjured, in my own image.

Jigsaws are not easy to do. so not easy..

I tried piecing together a 500 one job one time, several years back. i dint complete it due to my nature. it was a 3-min passion again. I took up many hobbies, but nv one lasted long.

Maybe this time, i shld try retracing back and i shld accomplished a 1000 one before this nice year ends. I would be even happier as the lark. =) Cos the jigsaw is one thing that could be so symbolic, when sometimes, your life falls into place, or it jus shatters.

i tot this comic strip was so cute, and it goes align with my jigsaw imagery. *grins:

imagine ur ideal field, when the night comes, and the skies lit with the labyrinth of stars, and a figment of a piece u r holding in your hands that you know completes your own picture.

They will wish u the sweetest dream tonight.
Cos they are all so real..

Morbid on saturday bright noon

2006-04-01T13:53:00.000+08:00

I'm suddenly hit with morbid thoughts as i was waiting for my computer to reboot just now.

Sitting and stoning on my seatfor that mere few seconds, i could almost feel myself hardening and fossilizing.

It's not that i gotten flashbacks or premonitions whereby i witness myself lying on a coffin, with a sense of tranquility written all over my face in blue. Maybe i just have wild imagination, as i sometimes have, that's all.

Have you entertain any of such morbid thoughts? maybe you have, once in a while.
(or maybe, your skies is forever so bright and gay, till u stumble upon my page.)

Sometimes, have you ever think you might just die young?

*Touchwood*

I'm not angelic enough in this earthly paradise so i won't think it's becos' God wants to recruit me to work in his heavens earlier. Neither am i such a heinous fiend that the devil wants me back in hell to slave.

I read somewhere that to imagine is our ancient forefathers, the primitives, the primary way of organising their mental thoughts and proccesses.

(so we are forever organising our thoughts.. )

I recalled seeing pictures of moles somewhere back last year. Moles that have irregular shapes or weird 2-color combinations are suspected to be cancerous cells.

And maybe i am just being paranoid.

As i was flipping my hair and scrutinising my hairline, i saw say a flat mole which i thought: Did it jus become bigger?!

As i observed further, twitching my head left and right, i was trying to determine if mine was in an irregular shape.

*Lols.

Hmm.. if anyone sees this entry, they are gona chid me for being so silly.

My historical health report of 21 years had been pretty healthy, except for the occasional flus and colds, and tummy upsets.

But as seen in so many drama-mama shows, serious illness can stumble anytime, even to the ones whom we least expected.

In buddhist teachings, devotees tried to do more good deeds to redeem good kama. Yet, it doesn't always guarantee them a longer life.

Since drama mimicks real life to some degree, it just might be true that the good dies young, while the bad, lives a hard and long life.

Casting my morbid thoughts aside, i think that the reason so many people is scared of death is because they do not know what lies thereafter once they close their eyes, in permanence.

There's still so much to pursue, so much they wish not to let go. When faced with impending doom , they panicked, and fought to stay live for that minimal breathing space.

Not that i am dying anytime soon, not that i know of yet.. but to anyone who see this entry, it is dedicated to u :
that life is so so soooooooooooo precious.
And that you are loved the minute u step foot in this space.

Some pictures to lighten my silly morbid thoughts: